The Sound of Madness: The Heart of a Schizophrenic Shaman

The Waters

Am I swimming or am I drowning?

If I choose to dive into the deep end

I run the risk of sinking to the bottom.

But if I never get in the water at all I miss out on the joy and experience of swimming.

Is the experience worth the risk?

Can I wade into the shallow end and practice treading water?

It's hard to tell how deep the water is

until my feet touch the bottom and the water is over my head.

By the time that happens the police have come to my door and I'm back

in the psychiatric hospital.

Each time I drown it seems to take longer for them to resuscitate me.

Even with the floaters on,

which the doctors call medicine,

I find myself back in the water attempting to swim once more.

But each time I practice swimming

I find immense joy in the things I learn

and the experiences I have.

And it's not like I can give up swimming forever.

I am surrounded by water.

I must cross it many times a day to get to where I'm going.

I must practice my swimming

and learn to float.

I know I can do this.

I know I can overcome.