Moon Talks

15

Since you are the backup plan, you never know when they will contact you at the last second. Chances are, they will only pay attention to you when they are bored and lonely. They will make it obvious that seeing you doesn't mean as much to them as it means to you. Being a second choice means swallowing stupid excuses again and again. You are used to hearing that they were too busy to text you back or that they totally forget they were supposed to meet up with you. You accept their sorries, even when you can tell they aren't authentic. Being a second choice means that, no matter what you do, it is never enough. You can answer a text two seconds later and will still have to wait half a day to hear back again. Being a second choice means putting in extra effort. You go out of your way to see them, even though they would never do that for you. You try your hardest to impress them, even though they couldn't care less what you think. You go above and beyond to stand out from everybody else, to make them see that you are worth their time. Being a second choice means making all of the first moves. Being a second choice means feeling like the relationship — if you can even call it that — is completely one-sided. You're the only one who cares. You're the only one who would be heartbroken if you parted ways. You're the only one invested. Being a second choice means that you spend most of your nights being miserable. Questioning what you could be doing better. Wondering if you should hold out for someone better. Unsure of whether you are doing the right thing or are just wasting your time.

Sigh.