The Toro-Totter

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We all walk outside and over to two white vans in the parking lot. The camera crew piles into one, and we all pile into the other. Seating in the van:
Jeff driving, Spike in passenger seat
Row one: Me, PJ, Bam
Row two: Chris, Steve-o, Ryan
Back row: Preston, Wee Man, Dave, and Ehren
The ride to the Leffew ranch was obnoxious. I was already on edge from what was about to happen, so the ride there seemed so loud.

"So Camille, welcome. How do you like being around all these assholes so far?" Bam leans forward over PJ to talk to me. I chuckle nervously and shrug.

"I'm used to PJ, how much worse can it get?" I joke. PJ chuckles and leans over, nudging my shoulder with his body. Bam immediately laughs obnoxiously, followed by some more laughter behind us. I feel someone leaning over the seat behind me to talk to me.

"Oh sweetheart, you have NO idea what you're getting yourself into." Chris says with a deep, devious laugh, and sits back down on his seat. I look at PJ with a nervous look, and he gives me a wink as he puts a hand on my leg.

Soon we arrive at the ranch, and we immediately pull up to an arena. Set up in the middle is the toro-totter PJ was telling me about. We all pile out and since it started raining, we stand under a little lean-to with some benches beside the arena. I sit down as we wait for the camera crew to set up. I watch PJ as he leans on the fence, one foot propped up on it, arms crossed over on the top. He's observing the arena, and watching the bull from across the way, who is ready to wreak havoc. I can tell he looks nervous. He pushes off of the fence and walks towards us shaking his head.

"That fucker is ready to shoot." He says, talking about the bull, who is screaming and snarling from across the way. The guys all laugh along with PJ. I just sit here, getting more and more nervous by the minute, as all the guys chatter and laugh with each other.

"Alright guys here we go! Bam, Dunn, Knox, and Pontius, get your asses out on that teeter-totter." Jeff shouts out as he waves with his hands for the guys to move out.

"Hot damn here we go boys" PJ says with excitement. It's almost like he's trying to trick himself by acting excited. It sure isn't working for the other guys, who are slowly walking out into the arena. PJ takes a couple steps away from me, then stops and turns back around.

"Hey, I wanted to let you in on something. I know you're worried about me. But, just a little rule of thumb; do not panic unless Jeff panics. Okay?" He says, getting closer to me as to help calm me down with his presence.
"I know that sounds silly, but it's true. If I'm down on the ground, leave me be, I'll be alright. If Jeff runs over and calls a medic, then worry."

That sure doesn't help ease my worry as much as I think he intended it to. I just take a deep breath and nod. PJ smiles and puts an arm around my waist. He gives me a quick peck on the cheek.

"Don't worry darlin', I'll be alright!" He says as he slowly drags his arm across the small of my back and walks away. I watch them all take their spots on the contraption.

"Alright ready! Go for it Johnny!" Jeff cues.

"I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is the Toro-Totter. It's myself and Pontius against Dunn and Bam. Last man left on the totter wins. Get ready boys!"

And with that, out comes the bull. I clench onto the fence in front of me as I lean on it. The bull immediately runs up to the guys, and they start bouncing up and down to avoid him. I can tell PJ is nervous, but he just laughs and puts on a show. The bull goes around and around the teeter-totter, while all the guys bounce up and down. They all get hit somehow, but not terrible. Soon, the bull hits Dunn's side, and he falls off. He runs away to climb the fence, but the bull chases him and throws him against the fence with his head. Before Dunn can get up, the bull pins him up against the fence. Everyone winces, including me. Seeing this bull in action doesn't make me feel any better about PJ's safety. The clowns chase the bull off and help Dunn out. Next, Bam gets off and runs successfully to the fence. This leaves just PJ and Chris fighting to see who can stay on the longest. The bull comes around and smashes Chris's leg against the teeter-totter. He decides to get off, just leaving PJ. I figured since he was the last one on, that PJ would immediately get off and get out of there....I should have known better.

We watch as PJ antagonizes the bull, bouncing up and down. My heart is racing, I can't imagine how PJ feels right now. Eventually the bull comes up behind PJ and knocks him off his seat, but he somehow still maintains his grip on the handle bars. He jumps back on like nothing even happened.

"I'm not out!" He yells to everyone. The bull turns around and hits his seat and one of his legs, and the teeter-totter goes flying up. He about falls off but holds on.

"I'm still not out!" He yells again. The bull comes back around behind PJ and just smacks right into his back, throwing him over his handlebars. Everyone winces again, and I let out a small gasp. At this point I want to cover my eyes, but I also can't stand not knowing what's happening. Chris nudges my arm comfortingly.

"He'll be alright, he always is." He comforts me. All I can do is nod, I can't form words. Chris stands beside me as we keep watching. PJ climbs up to the top and holds on. The bull comes back and thrashes PJ's dangling legs around, making them go up, and almost ripping PJ from his grip on the teeter-totter.

"I'm STILL not out!!" He taunts as he pulls himself up more. Just then the bull does this again and PJ goes flying up in the air. He lands hard on the ground with a thud, gets up, and limp-runs to the fence. He throws himself over, and a couple of the guys hep him over. I sigh in relief that he is out of there and okay.

"Knoxville you crazy son of a bitch!!" Steve-o says as he hugs PJ. All the guys laugh. Some walk over to him to hug him out pat him on the back.

"That was great, you okay PJ?" Jeff asks, smacking him on the back. I can tell PJ is hurt a bit as he limps around. I'll definitely take a limp over what could have happened.

"Damn that's one mean bull!" He answers with a giant grin on his face. The other three that were in there with him immediately agree. They all chatter in excitement about it. I walk over to PJ as he's talking to Ryan and Bam. Their attention goes from PJ to me. PJ turns around and smiles at me widely. He puts a hand on the small of my back and pulls me close to his side.

"Hey, Camille." Ryan says warmly.

"Hey Ryan. You okay?" I ask. They all laugh at me. I guess this is all normal to them, what was I thinking. Ryan smiles sweetly at me.

"Yeah, yeah I'm alright."

"Yeah, the bull hitting him in the head can't make him any stupider than he already is." Bam says as he smacks Ryan in the back of the head.

"Ow, bitch!" He winces, and punches Bam in the chest. The thud resonates and you can hear the air leave Bam's lungs. Bam immediately groans and holds his chest.

"Ow, you fucker! I didn't hit you that hard!" He says breathlessly. I try to hold back my laughter, until PJ looks at me and rolls his eyes at the two boys. Then we both burst out into laughter. Bam and Ryan walk away bickering with each other, leaving me and PJ together.

"Im guessing they're always like that?" I ask with a chuckle.

"Oh yeah, they're goofballs....Well, we all are. You better get used to it!" PJ answers with a smile.

"It's hilarious." I add, laughing.

"So, I told you I'd be okay!" He says, holding his arms out to signal he was alright.

"Yeah, you didn't look okay!" I say with a chuckle, rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

"Showbiz, baby!" PJ jokes. I give him a shove in the chest. He chuckles and puts an arm around my waist as we walk over to everyone else and wait to leave.

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Oh my gosh I finally updated!! Lol. Here's this one, and I'm almost done with another, so it won't be much longer!! Sorry guys, I'm terrible at keeping a regular posting schedule. I hope you like this chapter, I'm worried that it's starting to be boring, but it's building up I promise! Please give me feedback, enjoy!

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