Was Sipping coffee with a friend, as she went wild, judging me for hooking up with a married man.
A devoted Christian she was, the idea of me cheating on another woman's husband is intolerable..
Her cornering me like that, I just can't help it, so let me give you a piece of the way I see things.
People shouldn't take what doesn't belong to them. I get it.. Even a 9 years old knows that.
These standard of morality have been there for thousand and thousand of years, seen in the perspective of those who are fortunate.. Then what about the unfortunate one, those people that sit in the other side of the spectrum?
When I decided to eat meat I decided to love myself. Do you really think that all those cows and sheep voluntarily gave you their life?
If so, why is it that they don't just threw themselves to the blade? why is it that it took 6 to 7 people to bring a cow down, and slaughter them? why is it that they are fighting when you're about to take their life? Why is it that they shed tears when you're about to take their life?
I tell you why, because they did not gave you their life voluntarily, you took it by force!!!
So When I ordered my steak, I chose to be selfish...
You could have judge me all you want, but have you ever be in my shoes? aging, old and alone? Do you know how vulnerable and limited is a life of an aging woman to live on their own? how easy it is for people to mistreat us, knowing we can't fight back anyway, knowing that no one is going to stand beside us?
I tell you when I command a room full of people, just the existence of an older brother, or even an older sister in the room, made a huge different!!
Do you know how it feels when everyone has moved on with their life, and you're counted out, treated like a liability. When You're emotional being, happiness, needs and interest, are so easily disregarded because you seem to matter to no body???
I know how it feels! It's not my choice but here I am, and this is my circumstances!!!
He was good looking, youthful with a lot of money, why wouldn't I?
These are the very reason that certain religion/ culture allowed man to have more that one wife, because they are thinking about woman like me!!!!
Was at the salon yesterday, an elderly woman called on her grown up daughter requesting that her daughter look up the best eye doctor for her.. that's because she had a daughter, she raised a daughter, form a man she marries, than what about me?? who would look after me when I get old? you're gonna look after me when I'm old? Your religion will? Your morailty will? your judgement can save my life?
To top it up, I barely know his wife, why would I care, If I ended up old and alone would his wife care? No, so why would I care if they ended up divorced?
I'm just gonna take whatever I can take, and enjoy the best the world can give me... You said I was gonna go to hell because I stole someone else's husband?
Oh but If I didn't take this chance and ended up alone, waiting for another guy as good as him, to come my way, when the opportunity is getting slimmer every time. Because I'm getting older every year... All the while trying to take care of myself, making my own money by myself so I can get another jab of Botox... hoping there'll be another guy that can love me as good as him....That, I might ended up living in hell even before death.
You can judge me all you want, but you are not living my life, you are not going through what I went through... and if you are in my shoes, you would have done worse then me... I tell you life is not very kind to an old spinster....
I used to live by the rule, living by the morale standard of what my community had thought me..
I used to be judgmental just like you.... Now I think, all this rule were made by those who are fortunate in their life. They made all this morale standard, slipped them into religious doctrine, guilt-tripping others, to protect what they have... But what if you are, in the opposite side of the spectrum?
