Where I Went From Here

Chapter 10 - Permission

~ POV: Kyla Bower ~

Arriving at the house, I didn't even realize that I had fallen asleep during the car ride back to the mansion. My dad and I did not speak to each other the during the whole drive. The tension was thick in the car, it was getting stuffy. Right when the car was put in park, I made a run for the door of the garage to the house. I still wanted to be alone, away from them. Already up the stairs, my dad yells my name, making me jump from fear.

Who the hell does he think, he's yelling at?

Slowly making my way downstairs from the top of the stairs, I see my father standing near the front doors with all the boys a little to his right side. I am not looking forward to this little lecture that he wants to go into.

"What can I do for you, Richard?" I say to him with a fake smile.

"First, I want respect from you, then, I want you to tell me why you were at a motel? Might I add without my permission," he says back to me putting all his attention on me. I return my attention to him too, but I also catch a glimpse of some of the boys shifting on their feet, while Christian is the only one standing straight. He is the only one actively focusing on the conversation between my father and I.

"And why should I do that? Uhm? I don't see the reason why I should be telling you anything" I say as I take a step toward him.

"I'm you father that's wh-"

"But are you really? My father? You were never in my life to begin with," I cut in as he's talking. My dad's eyes widen as he takes in my words, but plays it off as if nothing. He didn't expect me to say that, but I could honestly care less of what he thinks. "You know why I couldn't be in your life, even if I could back then I want to make it up to you and be in it now," he tells me directly.

"Well, it's a little too late for that don't you think? If it's any consolation, at least you were able to be in their lives" I nod in the direction of my dad's sons'. "I plan to be in your life, Kyla; whether you or your mother like it or not" he said.

At the mention of my mom, my heart clenches. I want her to be with me so badly. But she will never be able to be in it anymore.

"I don't want you in it my life. So. Stay. Out. Of. It!" I slowly enunciate to him as if it'll set in his head.

"Enough! Enough of this, Kyla. This ends here. Go back to your room" He defeatedly says.

"No," I simply say. "No, I won't go bac-" I start to add, but get quickly interrupted by my dad.

"Kyla, go to your room!" he shouts at me. At the tone of his voice, I jump from being caught off guard. At my action, his eyes soften slightly. Reluctantly, I go back to my room from earlier; there's not much I can do now, and with my dad looking at me, I can't really do anything besides listen to him. Midway through the stairs, my dad announces that there are still things to be discussed tomorrow. I stop my steps, wanting to turn around and make eye contact but I stop myself. Once closed inside my room, I plop myself on the bed getting myself in the covers. Lying in bed, I will for sleep to come at me, but nothing. I go over everything that was said moments ago.

This whole situation is shit, I think before closing my eyes to the abyss of sleep.

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The next morning, I wake up and notice that it is dark outside. My skin is covered with a slick of sweat; I can feel the sweat beads on my forehead starting to make their way down to the side of my face. I was awoken by the nightmare of how my mom and grandma died. Only in my dream, I am the only one left in the car going staring towards the mountain cliffs without being able to move. In my dream, I try everything to free myself from the car to get out, but never succeed. I never know in my dream, if I die. Every time I have that nightmare, something different happens like, just as I am getting to free myself the car hit the cliff, or my mom and grandma are with me in car. Fuck, I just wanted to sleep. I don't want to get up, but I know that I won't be going back to sleep.

Getting out of bed, I decide to take a shower. In the bathroom, take a look at myself in the mirror and the first thing I notice is how much of a mess I look like and cringe. My naturally wavy hair is all over my head, I have dark circles under my eyes, and I still have the clothes on from yesterday that I never took off. Having see how bad I look like, I strip my clothes off and plummet myself under the hot, steaming water of the shower. I let myself drown in the feeling the water cascading over me. It feels nice.

After finished with my shower, I get ready to change into some black leggings, a brown long sleeve and my faded black and white vans. Once having a mental battle of whether to go downstairs to see the house or not, I go with the first option; Slowly tip-toeing down, I get to the bottom of the stairs wanting to go out to the backyard and walk around, when I suddenly sense an other presence coming from somewhere. I go to look to see who is possibly awake at this early in the morning, as I enter the kitchen and see that there is Christian, Levi, and my dad seated on the kitchen island. They haven't noticed that I'm in the kitchen, but I see that they all look tired. Levi gets out of his spot and goes to the coffee machine; that's when I guess Levi feels me observing them and turns his head my way.

Having been discovered awake, I stay where I am near the entrance of the kitchen. I don't know what to do. Thinking it's better to leave the kitchen, Levi then calls me and motions for me to come closer to them to take a seat. I don't want to sit next to my dad or Christian, so I come up with the only thing on my mind.

"I actually have to use the restroom now, so..." I say walking backwards before they say anything, and bolt from the kitchen to my room. In the safety of my room, I lock myself inside and exhale a long breath. With my back on my bedroom door, I slide to the floor with my knees to my chest and settle my head on my knees. This is going to be one interesting morning.

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A/N: Hi! Sorry for not having posted, been very, very busy with school and homework. Anyways...

Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, til next time :)