I've been out here fighting demons

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Today I woke up early. No particular reason why I woke up early, I guess my brain just thought it was time to get up. I usually lie in my bed for about an hour after I open my eyes, but today for some reason I was so full of energy and joy that I didn't feel like there was any reason to just lie in bed and let the day pass by.

After making my bed, eating breakfast, showering and doing my skincare and makeup routine I looked at my watch to see it was only 8:15am on a sunday morning here in London.

Four years ago when I turned 21 I moved to London from my family in Stratford. I live in a beautiful apartment with my dog ​​Milo. He is my best friend and I knew he would be when I first saw him. The cutest little Cocker Spaniel puppy you could ever imagine. i love him so much.

I was figuring out what to wear when i got a call on my phone. It was my cousin Simon calling.
I frowned. He usually never calls me, I wonder what he wants. I hope it's not some youtube crap that I have to participate in. Once I was in one of his videos where I had to try to do things I couldn't do with a football. It was seriously awful.

I accept the call. "Hi" he says, sounding somewhat nervous. "Um hi Simon, what's up?" I say, trying not to make the conversation awkward. "Yeah, so um, I sent your mom a message about Christmas Eve, she doesn't pick up the phone when I call, so just wanted to ask if you could maybe just tell her to check her messages, thanks." He still sounds a little nervous. Wondering what he messaged my mom about, all I said was "okay, I will." He said thank you and we both hung up.
Well if that wasn't interesting I don't know what was, I thought to myself as I finally found a outfit to wear.

I mean I didn't really have any plans for today other than some work, writing some songs and taking care of my dog, but I still loved feeling clean and ready for the day, i.e. by finding a nice outfit, putting on some makeup, etc.

While I opened my computer and found my notes with lyrics, I couldn't stop thinking about what it was that Simon really wanted with my mother. I know it's none of my business, but it's just weird because Simon never really writes or calls any of us, mostly because he's busy with YouTube but still. Maybe I'm just overreacting and it probably just has something to do with the food on Christmas Eve or something like that. I'm not sure though cause it is mostly the mothers who are responsible for the food.

I tried to clear my mind by walking my Milo. I put on my boots, jacket and hat and got out into the cold weather. it was a beautiful day here in London and the city was completely white, covered in snow. I couldn't believe that Christmas Eve was already tomorrow. December has gone by so quickly and that's how I feel about all the months this year.

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up this year. It's been a tough breakup, which has really messed up my health. It's still something that affects me and I don't know if I'm completely over it yet and if I'll ever move on. I hope that soon I can learn to forget it and stop letting the relationship ruin my thoughts and feelings. The breakup has really destroyed some parts of me and it has been a difficult period for me for a long time. It's not really something I talk to people about, but you know why would they have more things to worry about than they probably already have.

After walking with Milo for about an hour I decided to drive to a mall to buy the last Christmas presents for the family and find an outfit for Christmas Eve. I chose to buy some low rise blue jeans with a black crop top and a long leather jacket to top it off. It was only my parents that I hadn't bought a present for yet, as they are the hardest people to find a present for in the world. I spent a fair amount of time finding presents for my parents so I got quite hungry and went to Nandos for some food.

As I sat waiting for my food, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I quickly turned around and saw a red-haired girl smiling at me. I quickly recognised her. It was a girl I once had singing lessons with about 2-3 years ago. We were really close but lost touch. "Emma, ​​god how long has it been since I last saw you!" Amber said with a surprised look on her face. I smiled. "Amber hi, I've really missed you." "I've missed you too" she said and sat down in front of me. "What are you doing here?" she asked. "I'm just out shopping for the last few presents for Christmas, what about you?" "I'm supposed to meet my boyfriend, we're just going out to eat, but I simply can't find him" she says and we both laugh.

We talk for some time and agree that we should soon find a day, when we can be together. Her phone rings and it's her boyfriend who says he's outside in front of H&M, so she has to go. When I leave the center after some time, it is dark and I drive home.

The first thing I do when I get back to my apartment is sit on the couch and go on TikTok. I have 876k followers on my profile where I post videos, mostly singing and people seem to like my voice. I'm quite into social media and that's also where I make money along with my job in a clothing store.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I am so looking forward to seeing my whole family again. I'm sure it will be a fantastic Christmas.

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