Terrors of a Life Unlived

The Boorish Begining

    For a while I've had on and off night terrors. Recently they came back. It's always the same characters, but doing different things. Usually I see through the eyes of a woman named Katherine, who is the lover of a man called Jack. Usually I see out of the eyes of the person suffering, but the first time I was just watching them like a tiny tv show.  I plan to tell you the stories of my terrors, and what they truly mean for me. I will follow the more common route of the terrors, and let you choose who to pity.

     Last night's nightmare was one for the ages. As per usual it started out with me perched on the top step of a porch; listening to an argument going on between Jack and his wife. I don't remember what it was about but, after a while there was a loud crash. A few minutes later she ran out all red in the face. After that I walked inside to see Jack standing at the top of the staircase staring at me almost maniacally. He started on his way downstairs.                        

"Katherine my love, i'm hoping you didn't hear all of that, you know how she gets''                   

"Well I heard a bit, but not very much. What was all that about ?'' He walked slowly towards her

"You, actually.."

Katherine was perplexed.                                                                                                            
"Me? What could i have done to cause something like that? Ive barely ever even met the woman, let alone said enough to anger her in such a way.''                                                                                            
He took her gently by the hand, and said with stars in his eyes.

"Because she figured out that i've no infatuation with her dear, I can only fathom to love you"

She almost grimaced at this.

"Jack my star, I do love you, you know this... but never in such a way.. You were happy with her, she loves you, why leave her?"

His smile had fallen just as fast as it had arisen. He hurriedly and angrily shouted

"How could you not love me, Yet you would lay with me? Katherine you must be lying"

She quivered in fear as she saw him advance toward her in anger.

"Jack dear please be rational. The both of us are married, and happily so , why would I be in love with you? We've both got things going for us. What we have is nothing more than a naive infatuation that will surely be short lived."

She conveyed to him, basically brushing off everything he had said by the end.

He was so full of hatred, confusion, betrayal, and anger he just didn't know what to do with himself.

"Naïve?" He questioned angrily.

He began to raise his voice.

"IS THIS WHAT YOU THINK OF ME?"

His voice began to falter slightly

"Merely an infatuation, no love, all those words we shared, ALL THOSE NIGHTS IN THE BED I WAS MEANT TO SHARE WITH MY WIFE, ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

      Katherine was at a loss for words, confused as to how he could love her in such a way. Especially when she thought they had agreed that this was no strings attached for the both of them. She was not only confused, but conflicted as to how she should handle this newly arisen problem. The two had slept together a few times before even-though they were beforehand happily married to different people. It had all started one night when they were both plastered beyond measure. One thing led to another and the next thing she knew they were stumbling into Jack's house hand in hand and waking up tangled in each others embrace. It didn't stop there though, they repeated this process minus the immense amounts of alcohol running through their bloodstream. Slowly, night by night Jack fell deeply in love, as Katherine was merely infatuated with him, mostly though, his body. As this development settled on the chests of the two the air thickened more with every passing second, so much so that it became harder for her to breathe. Jack for a second just stood in disbelief right along with her. He was appalled to think that someone could lay down with another, to share so many intimate moments with one another, yet to not feel that weightless feeling he felt when they came together. This idea thoroughly enraged him. He was standing in front of lo, almost shaking with anger, disbelief, and betrayal. Katherine could only squeak out a few words.

"I'm sorry dear... I just cannot love you."

With those five words she shattered the man's mind, his heart, and his spirit. With those five words she drove him to the brink of insanity, and with her next sentence she threw him off of it.

"I came not to tell you this, but to say that I am with child."

She smiled a soft smile, and slid her jacket to the side to show her small bump, and then continued with the dawning news.

"Yes, I do not believe it to be yours though, but even if it is I will swear up and down it to be my husbands child. I want my child to be of a normal family, not called a bastard born of lust. Not like you."

This drove poor Jack over the edge. This led him to continue on to do something that would haunt both him, my family, and myself for eternity. He slowly approached her and with a broken voice asked

"you're... with child?"

He abruptly turned around and disappeared down a hallway, shocking Katherine and making her flinch a bit. She stood stiffly wondering where he could have gone. After about ten minutes, and lots of shuffling sounds she finally decided to have a seat. She sat down on a navy blue couch to the left of the foyer that was in front of a large fire place. She had sat there for about twelve minutes before he appeared again, only this time she didn't notice his presence. As her eyes were locked on the fire and body enveloped by the warmth he silently snuck up behind her. The man driven insane by the constant lack of love from childhood when his parents abandoned him.When his grandmother who raised him told him.

"uselessness, hatred, trouble, and the devil himself are all that run through your veins. blame you father, your grandfather, and all the men before him. horrible people, the lot of them. you have no hope to live young one, neither did they. you might as well give up now, by the time you're thirty five you'll be wasted away on the side of the road somewhere. might as well hop to it is all I'm saying."

She wasn't really wrong, and he knew that. His great grandfather had been a murderer that got away with it, commonly known as "Jack The Ripper". His grandfather was a drunk, and although not as bad as his father, but still a generally bad person. Many people close the the family were surprised that he hadn't turned out like the rest of the men in his family, and kill his wife. most people joked it was because he was "The first demon to feel love" Jack thought those people just didn't understand though. Jack thought the men in his family of course except The Ripper had all meant well, but all just couldn't manage to express it well. He always believed this because he knew he himself could feel love, he knew that before she died his father loved his mother, he knew that before his grandfather drunk himself death that he loved his grandfather, and so on. Still when his mother whom his father had never married, yet loved dearly had an aneurism and passed away his father dropped him on his grandmothers doorstep, and then disappeared never to be seen again. Also when his grandfather thought life had become too difficult he drank himself to death, and was found on the side of the road. Same with his great grandfather, and all those before him.

To adolescence when he proposed his company idea and everyone doubted and left him for his insane fantasies; these wild ideas though were why he was now extremely wealthy. These ideas to simply manufacture, and sell light bulbs. He thought that because electric homes had become more and more popular he'd sell the simplest electric item. This did very well by him. Now before he had even turned 25 the man was a millionaire.

To present day. Being left by his one true love. This had drove him to lose whatever was left of his marbles. This made him live up to his family name.