The Galway Boy

3. Dirt & sparkles

I can feel myself shutting off again. This would be another setback, another time I get turned down from my future plans despite all the work I've put in. I know it sounds like I'm victimizing myself, but I can't help it. She wants to say yes, I can tell. But the look on her face tells me she can't. 

Mom suddenly changes her facial expression as if she suddenly remembered something. 

Mom: "You remember the job I applied for last summer at the floral shop?"

I nod not making a single noise. She takes a big breath and continues. 

Mom: "They called me two days ago. They had saved my CV and the job is available again, and they offered me the job, without an interview and double the pay I have now."

She says it almost like she doesn't believe it herself. Even I can't even believe it. My mom has finally gotten what she deserves, her dream job, good pay, and a new opportunity in life. 

Mom continues: "out of old habits I seem always to get that cold feeling of hopelessness as soon as I feel like I'm losing someone. But I don't want to hold you back, and it's important for me to let you know that despite my new job, I would never ever hold you back from an adventure like Paris"

I sigh. I understand where she's coming from, but honestly, I would never ever leave her and Collin here alone when I know the daily struggles our family has faced the last couple of years. I decide not to even comment on it, instead, I run to the other side of the kitchen counter and hug my mom. I can tell she's struggling to breathe a bit, but at this point, I can't even hold back. The happiness inside my body is making me all warm and my cheeks start to blush. I haven't felt this kind of happiness in so long. 

Me: "b-but..."

I almost can't get the words out of my mouth. I don't really want to question what she just said, but I can't help to think about all the times I've had my mom crying over my shoulder constantly trying to find ways to pay for me and Collin's activities, clothes, food, or for my high school prom dress. I finally take the courage to say it.

Me: "But, you and Collin. Are you gonna be alright? Like, for real?"

I find myself saying it in a whisper. I think it's automatically from me and my mom constantly trying to hide the situation from Collin even though I feel like he's old enough to understand it without us having to put it into words. My mom takes a deep breath like she's about to tell me something that should've been obvious to me.

Mom: "Of course, we're gonna be alright. Stop thinking about us now. You're a university student, a grown-up, it's time for you to be a little selfish for once!"

Wow, she really is determined. God, what a relief. My mom's answer made me calm. I can't help but picture the triumphal arch, the Eiffel tower, and me taking typical tourist pictures of myself in a beret holding a baguette trying to make everyone at home jealous. I find myself almost jumping into my moms' arms and hugging her, then running around the kitchen counter, up the stairs, and into my room, throwing myself into my a bit too soft bed.  The feeling of my breathing makes me realize I should really go to the gym more often. 

The euphoria I'm feeling in my body right now is hard to beat. I grab my phone from my left back pocket and look for the phone number of my best friend, André. André and I have been friends since high school and have been inseparable ever since. I remember people thinking we were the type of friends that are "just friends" for a while but will develop a romantic relationship sooner or later. I bet everyone would be more than satisfied to be able to say "mhm what'd I tell you?". But surprisingly, that's not the case for us, but we've always found it funny. I mean, it's not that I don't think André is amazingly hot, I've always thought that. If I were to write a list about his perfect appearance it would probably look something like this; anybody's type of guy, perfectly fluffy, slightly curly, "short on the side, long on the top" - type of hair, hazel eyes, glowy even skin that annoyingly gets tanned after only 5 minutes in the sun, extremely fit body after three years of elite tennis career, big pouty lips... and the list can go on for ages.