Please stay, my sunshine.

Id give up forever to touch you

"Shuumei , I'm so sorry my dear. I don't have any excuse for this, so I won't bullshit any excuses. I love you so much and I always will, but I can't continue living. I can't be good enough for you, I can't bring you enough happiness being like this. I don't want you to continue to see this part of me. I didn't want you to see the apathy and depression that comes with me. You always were my sun. You were the love of my life and I am so sorry you have to find me. I'll love you forever, my sunshine.

-Yoshikazu"

Sasaki clutched the letter close to his chest, letting the tears fall freely. He doesn't care that he's in the ER waiting room. All he wants is for Miyano to be okay, for him to say "let's go home baby" in that sweet voice of his. That voice that Sasaki is so fond of.

A voice he may never hear again.

Right as he thinks this, Satoko comes back with a cup of coffee. Handing it to Sasaki, she sits down next to him.

"Any news on him..?" She asks, hand poised on the back of her little brothers back.

"No...not yet." Sasaki says with a shaky sigh. He can feel the tears coming again. Even though he hates it, he leans into Satokos shoulder. She wraps her arms around him, holding him as he cries.

"I knew...I knew he was depressed. I've always known it sis..I knew about his history with it. So why didn't I see the signs? Why didn't I see this coming?"

Sasaki starts to ramble through his tears. He'd known Miyano has depression since they started getting closer. Eventually Miyano opened up about his history with selfharm. He even told Sasaki he had previous attempts of suicide. That night was one filled with tears and more tears.

Sasaki had also told Miyano about his apathetic past. How he couldn't find any reason to continue living past his family being upset if he did off himself. He also had a history of selfharm, but not out of self hatred. He just wanted to feel something. He remembers the way Miyano hugged him tightly while he clutched the back of his shirt to the point his knuckles turned white.

All he can remember is his soft embrace, and all he can think of is how he might never feel that embrace again. He might never get to kiss his perfect face, might never be able to run his hands through his soft hair, might never be able to even touch him again.

While he starts spiraling down these thoughts, he feels Satoko remove her arm from his back. Looking up through he tears he can see a doctor walking towards them.

Furiously wiping his tears, he stands up and walks over to where the doctor is stood. Hoping and praying that this will be good news, not the doctor saying "I'm deeply sorry for your loss"

"So, Mr. Miyano is okay. He did lose a lot of blood but thankfully we were able to stop the bleeding from the wounds and give him more blood. We transferred him to an actual room. And he is asleep but should wake up soon." Having said that, the doctor gave Sasaki a paper with Miyanos room number on it and some other documents.

As soon as the doctor walked away, Sasakis knees buckled underneath him. He fell to the ground feeling so much relief pour into him.