their thoughts on love

lovely

"Sarah, put Hope down."
"Silas, stop being so careful, she isn't made of glass."
"Yeah Silas, leave us alone."
"Dior, maybe you should just leave them alone."

Noah watched Silas, Dior, Sarah, and Hudson continue to bicker from afar, with Oliver at her side, fidgeting with the straps from his backpack. She turned to him and watched the way the wind blew his perfectly messy hair. He was stunning in the cutest way. He had a nice jawline, and clearly had strong shoulders, but there was something cute about his mannerisms. It was as if sometimes he became what she could imagine his younger self to be: distracted and excited yet focused. Thinking about it, she realized that he was still that, but there was a difference between these behaviors being childish and more mature.

He turned his head to see her staring at him, so she quickly looked back down at her shoes, kicking her feet.

"What do you think?"

She looked back up at him, his eyes being fixated on her, examining every micro-expression she made.

"They need to separate Sarah and Silas," she said quietly, hoping that she didn't say the wrong thing.

"Yeah, I've never seen him act so hostile with anyone, especially someone he's just met. I trust him, but she doesn't look that terrible, you know? I did try to talk to her, but she doesn't seem to like me at all. Isn't that so weird? Not that she doesn't like me, but that she tries to be around Silas and he hates her, but I try to talk to her and she ignores me? It's like shes copying what he does to her and does it to me instead."
He sighed, "I'm sorry for troubling you, but no one else really knows Silas, and he just seems like a jerk to everyone else... He can be a jerk but this isn't like him. Not this much..." he thought for a second, "jerkiness."

She brought her gaze back to Silas, who was now rubbing his forehead and saying something she couldn't make out. "He's not a jerk, he's just bad with people," she said, not taking her eyes off of Silas, who was now saying something as he counted on his fingers, seeming more angry every time he put a finger up.

"He's definitely bad with people," Oliver agreed. He ran his hand through his hair, "But he's always been bad with people. I guess once you've been bad with people long enough, you get labeled a jerk, huh?"

She looked back at him, "I'm bad with people too. They don't seem to like me much."

He frowned, "You aren't bad with people. People are bad with you."

"What if people are just bad with Silas too?"

Oliver looked down at his hands as he continued to toy with the straps. "He's bad with people and he attracts bad people, he just doesn't let them stick around."

"But he attracted us."

"No, we attracted him."

"We did?"

"Yeah, Silas likes lovely people. It's because he wants to be a lovely person too, but he thinks too much and doesn't feel enough."

"Do you think you can think your way to being lovely?"

Oliver looked back up at Noah. "I'm not sure. I believe part of being lovely is feeling love. I don't think you can think love, you can only think it away."

She looked up, her eyes landing on one of the few clouds in the sky. "So, you don't think Silas can be lovely?"

"I... uhm..."

She looked back at Silas, who was now holding Hope and walking away triumphantly from everyone else, telling her something that made her smile. The happier she seemed, the more the small smile on Silas' face began to grow.

She couldn't take her eyes off of the interaction. "I think he's already lovely in his own way. He has love, he just doesn't know how to show it a lot of the time."

Oliver watched her, his head propped up on his hand. He watched how she sighed watching him, and he saw the stars in her eyes while she talked about him, as if she was talking about something she found truly beautiful. Was this what all artists were like, or had Silas finally found someone who truly appreciated him for everything he was worth?

Oliver was ashamed to admit to himself that he knew he didn't appreciate Silas as much as the guy deserved. He could also admit, however, that it wasn't all Silas' fault. It was his own mind and intrusive thoughts that tried to bring him away from their friendship. Silas was blunt and sarcastic, and with Oliver's fears of rejection, hearing negative things definitely helped his negative thoughts take front and center sometimes. He was always able to reassure himself with what Maverick told him years ago: "One thing I'll never worry about with Sy, is that if he's with me, I know he wants to be. He never stays anywhere he doesn't want to be, and he never pays attention or gives time to things he finds unimportant."

Silas did care about him, he was just... bad at showing it, and Oliver knew that, its just that his intrusive thoughts didn't.

Silas walked over to the two of them, Hope in one arm and the book she had been reading in the other. He hit Oliver on the head with it, since he seemed to be lost in thought. "Welcome back to Earth, Oliver."

Oliver and Noah both looked up at him. Silas looked back and forth at them, "Are you two okay? Did something happen?"

"You're lovely, Silas," Noah said. It was so quiet that Oliver could barely hear her.

Silas immediately looked away, his face becoming an awful shade of red. "You're lovely too, Noah," he managed to get out before clearing his throat.