Homeless love

Chapter 2

Tessa

My life was very simple before the day that changed my life forever. I was only 19 when I met the love of my life...Josh. Who knew that a night out with friends to the club in the busiest city ever would have you grinding on a man and later having sex just to fall in love with him, all of him. Josh and I relationship weren't normal but we still made it through and were perfect until the dreadful night of December 25th otherwise known as Christmas Day, the happiest holiday of all fucking time. I remember it like it was yesterday getting the heart-aching call from the hospital that must report the same shit to people every day feeling at types of bad for being the one to deliver the news to the person who's now life would change forever...me.

Flashback.....

I get up from the couch and go into the kitchen waiting for Josh to get home because I have a very very special present for him. I can smell the cookies and they smell wonderful every Christmas me and Josh would bake the exact same ones and eat them until our stomach was full of so much sugar we just went straight to sleep afterward. It's Christmas tomorrow and out of both of us I'm too excited to even go to sleep just thinking about what I'm about to share.

I turn on my music and just dance around my kitchen until my phone rings and I slide across the floor to get it.

I pick up the phone. "Hello"

"Hello, is this Tessa Young," the voice says.

"Yes, this is her," I say a little hesitant.

"Ok, Hi I'm Alissa from north's cook hospital and I was just calling to inform you of a patient going by Josh Williams," she says and my heart drops.

"Yes! that's my boyfriend, is he okay?" I ask.

She stays quiet on the other end of the line.

"Hello, is Josh okay?" I ask one more Time. The thought of him not being okay is making me sick to my stomach.

"I'm sorry to inform you but Josh was in a tragic car accident and didn't make it, he died on impact immediately"

All I can do is scream, scream, and scream again. He can't be gone we have our whole future ahead of us, he was supposed to be here for this new beginning that we've been blessed with. I can't do this without him. I barely talk to my mother but it's not the same I can't do this not without my lifeline, my Josh.

I pick back up the phone. "Hello," I say sobbing.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Ms.Young, we can arrange for you to come to see him and say final goodbyes," she says, I can hear the strain in her voice not wanting to upset me more.

"Okay I'll be at the hospital soon, please take care of him"

"Okay Ms.Young, once again I'm so sorry for your loss today"

"It's okay and thank you for your telling me"

"Your very welcome, we'll see you soon"

"Alright bye" I hang up the phone and just drop to my knees, my love is gone and it's nothing I can do about it, we're gonna be alone.

I look down at my belly and slightly rub it, I also turn around and smell the cookies burning and I start crying all over again.

End of flashback.....

My life changed forever that day and I'll never love Christmas the way I used to. The only reason why it is tolerable now is because of my 3-year-old daughter Gwen. She was a surprise for me and the surprise I had for him that night slash morning. He'll never get to meet this little girl that was made by both of our love for each other. Sometimes when I look at my little girl I cry all over again because she looks just like him with his brunette hair and small nose that's actually like a button, her long legs for a three-year-old, and the ways she acts. The only thing she has from me is her eyes and mouth which are blue and very big and her lips are roundish with a small dip in the middle.

Other than my small features she's every form him.

With it only being me it was very hard the first year of her being here but I've gotten used to it and she's everything to me I wouldn't trade her for the world. I can't wait till she's older and I can tell her all about her dad. How kind-hearted he was and very respectful to anyone even if they were mean to him, he was the true version of perfection. He's the reason I started to work in the hospital. I Can't Stand the thought of people getting hurt every day, especially living in New York and not being able to do anything about it. The thought fucking kills me that I wasn't with him the night of his death and helped him in some way. I just wanna save people from tragedy from themselves even.

Because I have Gwen I don't work all day sometimes times but when I do I drop her off at Ms. Celeste's Home she's a nice old lady that helps me a lot since the birth of my daughter. I know Christmas time is coming up so she'll be getting ready for her grandchildren to come to visit her like every year. She decorates her home and looks lovely from the outside and it's amazing on the inside. I wish I could give Gwen a Christmas like that but I can't seem to bring myself to be happy around this time of year I try for her because she's just a kid and deserves presents and more from her mom.

Not saying that I haven't given her a good Christmas before because trust me I have but she's little and asks for the same thing every year. Barbie dolls and random ass toys that I can get for her any other day. It's funny to be completely honest I never thought I'll be a single mom to the most amazing child in the world.

The little paddle of feet coming towards my room indicates what is about to happen every morning, snuggles with mommy.

I look towards the door and watch the door knob twist and the door creaks open. She opens it slowly and only shows her eyes through the little peep she's made, I can see her looking around trying to see if I am up from sleep and I say her name.

"Gwen" I whispered

She opens the door some more and fully peeps through smiling once seeing me.

"Mommy," she says and climbs on the bed. I grab her and pull her toward my chest.

She sits and Doesn't talk which usually happens because she's tired and didn't what to get up in the first place. I rub her back and kiss her on the forehead several times. She eventually pulls back and smiles at me.

"Good morning my love," I say.

"Good morning mommy," she says quietly.

"What's wrong?"

She shakes her head to indicate that it's nothing she's just tired. She hugs her body to mine once again and just sits there. Gwen has never been a talker even though she's only three and usually, three-year-olds are yapping at the gums but not Gwen she's a quiet child. She pulls back once again and lays down beside me falling asleep. I lay down right beside her and rub her hair away from her face. I can feel her tiny breaths against my hand with each passing, this is what I live for this girl right here. This is why I try and save others so they can live for their little ones and be there with them on any holiday to live for them the way Josh can't be here for us. He gave me this amazing gift and that's all I can ever thank him for this coming Christmas, every Christmas.

My Gwen Young

My pride and joy

My lifeline

My daughter.