Growing Wildflowers | WLW

Yellowbell

I freeze, my hand gripping the rough handrail, my back turned to Sophie. Tell John I say hi? How does she know him? Did he run with this group before? No, that's impossible. John's a stickler for the rules. She's trying to get under my skin. But how would she know about my relation to John if she doesn't know him? I shake it off and face her with a warm smile.

"Sure thing." I continue up the cement staircase, covered in sharpied-on graffiti and patches of moss. I need to get away from the beach before they start draining the eco club or I'll be back down there without another thought. Right next to those ferals, draining innocent people. My chest goes tight as my shoe meets the top of the staircase. I should be helping. I scoff. Me versus a dozen hungry blood suckers. I continue walking as the first scream, desperate and full of disbelief rings in my ears.

Breathe.

There's nothing you can do.

Keep walking.

Breathe, goddamnit.

I'm so focused on keeping my head down and dashing down the road to put distance between myself and the blood bath on the sand I don't notice the headlights tailing me until the driver gives a light honk. I whirl around and let out the breath I'd been subconsciously holding as Jamie's faded yellow beetle comes into focus around the shine of her headlights.

"You shouldn't have come back," I say as I slide into the passenger seat.

Jamie ignores me. "Gwen, what's going on? What happened down there?"

I shake my head, lean it back against the headrest, and rub the tension from my face. I can't lie to her. She'll hear about it on the news tonight.

"I don't know what's going on," I answer. "I had a bad feeling about the people crashing the party and I wanted to get you out of there in case anything happened." Not fully the truth, not fully a lie; my forte lately.

Jamie's expression shifts from fearful to a smirk. "Is that what you've been hiding all this time?" My heart stops as she glances at me playfully. "You're psychic?"

I let out a breathless laugh. "I'm not... You think I'm hiding something from you?"

She's still smiling as she turns onto Aurora's street. "I'm just messing with you." After a long moment of silent driving, Jamie adds, "Thank you for getting me off the beach tonight."

"It was nothing."

She puts the car in park in front of Aurora's house and now that her attention isn't on driving, she turns in her seat to face me.

"You could have left. Gotten out of dodge." I don't know how to respond, so instead I stay quiet. I can't tell her I feel responsible for protecting her at all costs without also telling her I murdered her best friend. She nudges my shoulder. "You don't give yourself enough credit, Gwen."

My throat goes tight at her words. Tears push at my eyelids. I open my mouth to speak but all I want to say is you don't know the atrocities I've committed. Dragging her off the beach when she was about to be beaten, drained, and who knows what else is the least I could do to repay her... To repay society.

Jamie clears her throat, shifts in her seat. "Can I tell you something?" she asks, really looking at me for the first time since I got in her car. "And will you promise me you won't be mad?"

I match her posture and face her, my forehead wrinkling in concern. "What is it?"

"Promise me, Gwen."

"I promise," I say, without thinking. Anything to get her to spit out. It feels like my heart is going to explode if she doesn't tell me what's going on.