[Chapter 13] - so give it to me now we're lost in a dream now
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May 4 - On the Road - Tour Bus
It's Dallon's birthday today. Brendon, still inside of his bunk, checks the time on his phone. It is currently 6:30 in the morning.
He struggled to fall asleep properly last night, rotting in the constant memories and the awful flashbacks of back then.
Brendon did not want to repeat what he once was towards Dallon. However, not knowing how to make up for those mistakes, would it truly favour any closure?
The singer is irritated his body cannot fall back asleep, despite feeling so physically exhausted. He stands upright, carefully slides out of the bunker, and walks outside the bus to catch get some fresh air.
He initially thinks he is alone until a puff of smoke drifts across his face, carried from the wind.
Brendon turns to his right side and sees Ryan Seaman smoking his morning cigarette.
"Hey, man. What's up? You're up earlier than usual," the drummer removes the thin stick from his mouth.
"What are you doing up?"
"I never sleep," he chuckles, as if his natural eye bags aren't a sign.
Brendon has never really been alone in the same room with Ryan before. Admitting it is a bit intimidating on how to approach someone who grew up with Dallon and someone he cared about so much for several years. Despite the fact that he always looks so confident, in reality, he always felt rather awkward having to converse with new people.
On the contrary, yesterday of binge-watching footage of Dallon's entire band, he feels—in some sort of way—more confident to talk to Ryan.
"You look nervous. Is something up?" he focuses on Brendon's facial expression.
The smoke decays from Ryan's face. The amber tip of his cigarette dims down.
"No." he pauses. "Well..." he looks below of his iPhone on his hand. Impassive towards a picture of both him and Dallon grinning together as his lockscreen.
Ryan disposes his cigarette on a dirt path, crushes it with his foot, and smiles at Brendon.
"Because it's Dallon's birthday? Is that what this is all about? Dude, you could gift him even a cupcake and he would be ecstatic. You know the guy is not much of a birthday person,"
"I know... I know... But I just can't shake the feeling that maybe it will never be good enough. Or maybe what if I try too far and it will become a problem?"
"You have nothing to worry about. You gotta get out of your head, dude. You know he is head over heels for you,"
"But we weren't like this years ago. We've known each other being in the same band for seven whole years. Only now we actually got to learn about each other this year. It's only been a few months that we've been dating. It's like we feel like we know everything about each other, but at the same time nothing and that's the scary part of it..." he folds his hands and stops after feeling like rock has lodged itself in his throat.
Ryan rubs Brendon's shoulder in a console of reassurance. They lean back, tilting in front of the metal wall behind them that is the tourbus.
"Hey, things are going to take some trial and error. Dallon more likely feels the same way just not in the same sense. You'll figure it out in the end. You just have to talk about it,"
"I guess the thought or the reoccurring nightmares about it pretty much is what's making me paranoid.
Thanks." he pauses and sighs. "I just don't want to repeat the same mistakes as last time. I wasn't there for him before... I want to be there for him this time..."
Ryan pulls him in and they have a friendly and quick embrace.
"I've had a lot of the same anxieties. I've just learned to roll with the punches. It's cool that you came to me for advice, I never saw myself as the helpful one. You're a good man, Brendon. The past is the past, what matters is now. And you're doing a pretty great job,"
Urie feels a sense of epiphany. Someone telling him they're proud of him when he felt otherwise with the constant sense of doubt. Now he is able to smile.
Ryan takes out a small, white box from his leather jacket. A pack of cigarettes and kindly offers him some. Brendon declines, an occasion for another day, especially since Dallon would kill him if he smoked.
"So how's Josh? How do you even work with the whole long distance relationship thing?"
"It has its ups and downs. I miss him a lot, more than he knows. But we make it work. He calls me whenever he can and we meet up if we're close.
And we decided we think we're ready for the next step and move in together,"
Brendon's mouth beams widely and expresses how awesome that is.
"And you'll know when the time comes for you and Dallon too. You'll know,"
It is already relieving to know that even being several states away, a relationship can work. Ryan and Josh have known each other since 2015.
Unrelated to the topic, Brendon does not have that much time before Dallon wakes up and he already needs to whip up something for him.
"Hey, I figured out my plan. I think I know just the thing. Wanna help me out?"
"Of course!"
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Ryan and Brendon managed to pick up a few party supplies before the tourbus' engine turned on again, continuing the drive.
They'll still be on the road for quite a while so they have to decorate the room instead.
The drummer opens the plastic packages of colourful streamers and banners. As discrete as possible, they decorate the room without causing too much of a ruckus that could wake the group up.
Brendon hangs streamers in the walls and confetti sheets on the tables.
"Hey what if we woke them up by popping a balloon?"
"No!"
"Yeah, you're right..."
The shaking vehicle causes the balloons to swarm around the room so the two forcefully tie them down to the knobs of the cabinets.
After 10 minutes they are fully finished. Nothing too fancy but it is simple enough Dallon would love.
"This looks great! He's gonna be stoked," Ryan smiles and they fist bump.
The door that leads into their sleeping quarters slowly opens with a long drag. Nicole walks into the room.
"Morning- Whoa, this looks so cool!" she squealed.
"Thanks! Hey, is Dal awake yet?"
"I think I saw him brushing his teeth..."
Before Weekes finishes in the bathroom, everyone on the tour bus gather together.
When he enters the room, the gang shouts surprise and sing happy birthday. Naturally, out of everyone in the room, Brendon loudly sings harmonically. The bunch cheers in celebration.
He walks up to Dallon and makes him wear a party hat. He plants a kiss on his cheek.
"I love it, honey!" he smiles widely and the two kiss yet again but on the lips. "Thank you,"
YOU ARE READING
Stuck In The Middle - Brallon
FanfictionTwo years after the pandemic, Brendon Urie, singer of the band, Panic! at the Disco, returns to his career after his break from away from social media. Dallon Weekes, his past subordinate, has his career grown, as did his own band named I Dont Know...
