Libido || Han Jisung Centric

Volcano - jisung

Warnings:?? V Angst (and i really mean it) you can find fluff if you try extra hard, mention of anxiety, panick attack,toxic relationship, self hatred and disease. You should skip if you can't make difference between fiction and reality. Open ending

Love is hard to find, hard to keep, and hard to forget. If you had said him some years ago that this is where and this is how he will end up, he would have probably laugh on your face.

Han jisung's life has been what we all call a real rollercoaster journey. With a blink of eyes you can miss an important twist. A twist in his life.

And back than, if anyone told him about how his idol life will help him to meet 7 most important people of his life and eventually lost all of them with tragic endings, he would have think that person was either high or just love to made up stories (and actually was real good at that).

The memory of him first time coming alone in korea is still rough in his mind. When he stubbornly told his parents that he will contact them after any agency sign him and not before that. Young han jisung was stupidity stubborn and with way too full of himself. He still sometime miss those self confidences.

Proving his talents, one of the biggest company sign him in and he was one step more closer to his dream. He remember getting overwhelmed and crying whole night in his small shared apartment that day.

Reality slapped him harder than he expected when he starts his journey as a trainee of jyp,the company that signed him. That was the time when he realized what outside world looks like. He had a tough time accepting that there was people who were better than him and not everyone love him.

The cruelty of this world have left a scar that always bleed. How come his father never told him anything about this side of human beings?

And jisung met him when he was going through the toughest time of his life. He came like an angel and left like well jisung exactly don't know how to explain it. He had a hard time putting those memories with him into lyrics.

Bang Christopher Chan.

They start off as him helping out miserable jisung and they end up with him being the reason of jisung's miserable days. He was there when jisung was questioning his skills or his existence. There long walk with deep conversations. Conversations that helped jisung to step back from hurting himself that one night. After meeting him jisung's life was just like what he called a perfect life but some would say It's just him falling in love and acting like highschool girls. Mind you jisung was 15 that time.

Chan was the reason he starts questioning his sexuality and chan was the person who helped him realizing that sexuality can never level a person. Chan was hiss first kiss too. They kissed when they sneak out of company to watch the firecreaker festival at Korea's new year night. Nothing or no one will ever be able to made him feel those things he felt when he opened his eyes to chan lovingly starts at him while kissing him. Jisung remember feeling something funny inside his lower stomach the day chan asked him to be his boyfriend.

Life was hitting just fine that time but with a time of blink,everything fall apart.

Chan wasn't there when he was walking back in dorm from company late at night. Chan wasn't there with him making songs. Chan wasn't there when he had another fight with a trainee. Chan wasn't there when he was feeling the worst instead of being the reason of him feeling the worst. That one of those time when he thought there is now way he can get over this depression. Also the very moment when jisung became scared of everything. He never realise how much defend he was over chan.

With everything chan made him feel the most important thing he learnt from him(chan) was "nothing last too long". Jisung never saw it coming. He respected chan's decision to become a soloist. Jisung saw chan very closely and knew how much debuting was to chan. So jisung just let chan being the selfish. It was for good. He was happy for chan. Atleast most of the part he guess. He have attend chan's multiple concert all this years but chan doesn't really need to know.