Chasing Hope [HIATUS]

CHAPTER 23

After my class, I left the building. The sun was setting so I hurriedly ran to gate 3 to see Kiel there. Because we decided to just bake what we can do now because we can't go to the beach either, ayoko ring i-advance or late basta makapunta lang sa beach.

I just want to simplify everything now especially since I'm losing time for other things because I'm already giving my all to this course especially since the semester is almost over. Ilang weeks na lang, tapos na ako. I want to graduate from college with a high ranking like my parents.

Ugh, I've been living for many years but that's still something I can't get out of my mind. That I have to always get high like the parents got before. I'm not allowed to fail wherever I am because I carry their last name. Nakakahiya naman kasi kung magfe-fail ako, 'di ba?

I saw Kiel standing on the side. A strap of his bag was hanging on his arm and he was holding it and his other hand was in his pants pocket. Nakatingin lang siya sa baba, ginagalaw niya ang paa niya na mukhang may hinihintay. He was still wearing his uniform and had just returned from duty, mukha ngang dito kaagad siya dumiretso.

Tinawag ko ang pangalan niya at nang lumingon siya sa akin, his tired face lit up. He had a smile on his lips when he saw me approaching him. He stood up straight and opened his arms, welcoming my hug. Mahigpit ang yakap niya sa akin. Ah, I still love him so much.

"Tired? Do you still want us to bake?"

He cleared his throat. "Do you?"

Tumango ako kasabay nang pagngiti. "I, uh, actually I need to study for my quiz tomorrow. But I can make time to celebrate our second year anniversary!"

"We can postpone our celebration, love. Should we just study together? May quiz din ako bukas," I just answered Kiel with a nod and a smile before he held my hand so we could walk home to the condo. Wala siyang sasakyan ngayon dahil hiniram ng ate niya, I told him last night na p'wede naman niyang gamitin 'yung sasakyan ko pero huwag na lang daw.

Binitawan niya saglit ang kamay ko upang kuhanin ang bag ko at hinawakan niya ulit ang kamay ko pagkatapos na gawin iyon. "What's our dinner?" I asked him while walking.

"Pasta. I'll cook. Gusto mo?"

"Yeah, sure," humawak ako sa biceps ni Kiel habang naglalakad kami at napaisip. Time really flies, huh? What if we break up suddenly? Every day there's something small that Kiel and I don't understand because of my attitude. I am the reason, the problem. But he tried to understand it over and over even though I didn't understand everything. After he understands, he will make me understand so that we can be okay again.

Every day is always like that, I do everything I can to change. Wala naman akong nakikita na improvements sa sarili ko. But first of all, do I really have self-improvisation? Or is there really nothing after all? I know I changed things before, but now that Kiel is here, may nababago pa ba 'ko o hanggang salita na lang ako? Maybe I haven't changed anything about myself since Kiel came.

Masyado niya yata akong na-spoiled?

Like I said, I'm seeing some improvement in our relationship every day. But what if Kiel is the only one who changes the two of us and not me?

Nevermind.

I've always been like this. Thinking of useless things. But what if?

Shut up, Nadeleine.

I sat on the chair and watched as Kiel put the apron on him. "How's your life?" napalumbaba ako at tinitigan lang si Ralpkiel. Tinignan niya ako nang nakakunot ang noo niya.

"You ask as if you don't know?" he asked sarcastically.

I blinked twice. "I mean.. the things you didn't tell me. And I also want to say that how is your third year life going?" I awkwardly said.