𝐃𝐄𝐉𝐀 𝐕𝐔, 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘

three

"Do you call her
Almost say my name?"

johnny ends up finding out her name; jayla. jayla, johnny, jayla, johnny— they almost sound the same. they're at least similar. a part of him, a dirty, dirty part of him wonders if dal almost calls out his name when he says hers.

he decides against it.

"'Cause let's be honest
We kinda do sound the same
Another actress
I hate to think that I was just your type."

another weak later and johnny begins to notices the changes in her and the similarities in between the two of them. her skin tans, her freckles fade away but come back brighter than ever, her eyes glimmer and shine when she talks about her family, her clothes go from skin tight to so baggy they don't look like they belong to her.

when johnny sees himself in her, he scoffs and bites back a sob. he soon realizes that all those almost-kisses and nights spent together meant nothing to dally, that they were just a way to pass time. he nearly pukes when he notices these different get sharper each day. he hates to think that he was just dally type; only, he was a boy, and she was not.

"I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel
'Cause you played her "Uptown Girl"
You're singing it together"

sometimes, when he isn't thinking straight or he's trying to ignore his parents yelling, he plays the playlist dally and him had made together. he distantly thinks that jayla must know the lyrics because there's no way in hell that dally hasn't played it at least once. they probably sing it together, smiles so wide they hurt and laughter echoing.

she's taken the rug right out under his feet.

"Now I bet you even tell her
How you love her
In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you)"

johnny moves on, slowly but surely, his days stop consisting of thoughts about dally and jayla. he doesn't wake up screaming from the nightmares consisting of hurtful words from everyone he knows, but more importantly, he doesn't run to dally's house. he's pushed the playlist to the bottom of his profile, long forgotten like the knitted scarf in the bottom of his closet.

"So when you gonna tell her
That we did that, too?"

he still feels sad, every once in awhile, because he's subconsciously aware he's not really over dally, he's just busying himself with other people. other people who consisted of men who demand he'd slit his own thighs and left bruises remaining on his skin for weeks at a time. it made johnny feel sort of slutty but at least if he was distracted by the pleasure being forced upon him, he wouldn't notice his phone dinging besides him, indicating a new photo posted from dally.

"She thinks it's special
But it's all reused
That was the show we talked about
Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you."

one night, a hookup gets too much and suddenly johnny can't breathe. he claws at his chest, greedily sucking in air that won't go back out. he ends up scrambling off the bed, clad in a hoodie that reaches his mid thighs and blood dripping down his cut legs and arms. he's openly bawling, unconsciously making his way to the house, to the person, he's craved for for so long.

he knocks on the door, and the moment it's pulled open, he whimpers and tugs on his hair, jerking his head off to the side as apologizes rolled off his tongue. "i'm sorry, i don't even- i don't know why i'm here, i'm- i'll leave i swear." he sobs out, turning away and stumbling down the icy steps. he doesn't make it farther than a block until he's pulled back by a strong, but familiar, hand. johnny doesn't dare fight back and instead sobs into dally's chest.

"Do you get déjà vu when she's with you?
Do you get déjà vu? Oh"

he questions where jayla is but dally just laughs wetly and hugs him even tighter, whispering soothing reassurances into the air. it's an hour later and johnny is in dally's bed, bitten lip caught in between his teeth habitually. "johnny, jayla and i weren't ever a thing." dally says randomly, causing johnny's head to snap over in his direction, a soft whisper of 'what?' coming out of his mouth.

dally nods and sits down besides him, heaving a heavy sigh. "im sorry, i just— i really liked you johnny, but y'know my dad, i couldn't have— i couldnt." he pretends not to notice how dally uses past tense. "i knew i was in love that day we went out to get ice cream and drove for hours on end, just screaming song lyrics and-" dally rambles, then silences himself again and turns to look at the younger teen staring at hin.

his lip is quivering ever so slightly and there's heartbreak evident in his face. it makes dally's heart drop and he knows right then and there he must confess. "i'm in love with you, johnnycakes. god, i've never loved anyone more, i never wanted to hurt you or make you cry or— im sorry." johnny sobs into his hand once, twice, before settling himself and looking again at dally.

dally's eyes soften and before he can stop himself, he leans in and finally gives into the urges that used to scare the shit out of
him. suddenly, jayla and the almost kisses and the fallout didn't matter anymore, it was just johnny and dal. it was just them. johnny gasps at first but ends up placing his hand on dally's cheek, but the other places both of his hands on the brunettes hips, bringing him closer.

johnny pulls back first. he's panting but there's a smile on his face. "johnny cade," dally says, smirking, "will you please be my boyfriend?" johnny laughs and tangles his arms around his boyfriends neck, then pushes them both down, which makes johnny look like he's straddling the other. tears fall down his tanned cheeks as he goes down to kiss him again, hand placement changing by barely an inch.

"Do you get déjà vu?"