...for this time, I fell

..

I can assure the entire universe of how pure my intentions with you were, how I dearly loved you, to a point of me finding myself in hospital, looked stupid in front of my mom and all that. I swear it's still at this point that I don't know how I got to love you that much and I think I now understand you when you kept telling me that it was way too good to be true, yes it truly was too good just as it really was true that I loved you that much.
My mother lived from that day knowing that you have her son's life, if he's to ever find himself fighting for his life, it'll be you she will count on to save him get back to life. She loved you so much and I'm glad to be going knowing that I've shown you that.

After agreeing that I'll wait for you to finish your seven year degree, I noticed how things were so smooth with you conscious of the high chances that I can end up in hospital if we drastically part ways. I haven't always been an overprotective one, but that one time you had first travelled to the city to register and attend orientation, I just don't know what happened to me. I got so jealous after hearing that you went there and attended with a male. This to a point of me making remarks that implied that you changed so much since you went to the city after replying to my texts late. I was so blind to understand that our chatting time may have to change because you went to a new place, but just the thought of you being too close to a certain male there while I was still in the village, yet to travel, I just unconsciously got overly protective and that's how our first break up came.

It was so tragic that I couldn't even do much as you haven't been replying to my apology texts for the followed two days. I had to beg you for about four days. I may not remember how or why we broke up on all occasions though but I know you dumped me five to six times.
Can I talk about how you once dumped me just for jokingly calling you 'child'? Looks like I now understand why they say 'Don't ever force things....' Some say it's love when the relationship is an on and off type.

As days went past, I had to travel and register for my four year degree as well and finally came the day of us meeting for the very first time since we started talking. It wasn't a planned meeting, it was just about us possibly seeing each other on campus. Trust me I went to attend the orientation that day all because of the possibility of bumping into you by any chance.

Fortunately, I ended up sitting with your high-school classmates just two rows in front of you. You really thought I had been listening throughout? An electric shock or even more tragic was what I felt if that even makes sense when you touched my shoulder for support as you stood to come and greet your classmates, I remember you greeting me, did I respond? I'm very sure that you noticed my reaction, so please, as you write my note about the type of friend I've always been, start with what you saw or how I reacted that day and what you think of the reaction.

I didn't even sleep that night and I'm telling you this today for the first time, I had worn that shirt unwashed for two consecutive months, I had always put it on in hopes of seeing you on campus but my hopes are mostly let down.

Maybe I should then highlight the first day we have been together for some time on campus. I remember how you've always been shy and not want to be seen with me on campus such that every time I have to see you and walk to the taxi rank with you, it has to be behind the construction site on campus or behind the tennis court parking. I remember how you wouldn't keep a single picture of me in your phone back then. Just how funny? Those were the sweet days of us I swear, the memorable days.

I remember giving you a PS chocolate and I knew you expected it to be written 'I Love You' but I had deliberately chosen one that's written 'You're Awesome' instead. I thought I'd rather tell you how good of a girl you are before telling you what I feel about you, only then you'll maybe understand why I'd love you.

I noticed how uncomfortable you got when a friend of mine and a school mate to both of us walked past us that day, someone was just insecure about being seen with a man or heard that she has a man she talks to. I recall threats you once made to me this other day again, after this other hyper girl found us sitting on a bench. "Let me not hear about it or else..."

What then was I supposed to do to avoid or stop that girl from spreading apparent rumours about us though? It was just that day when I got home, I got a call from a friend in the village asking me about you and that I'm constantly seen with you around campus. I hate that girl until today. I was so lucky that you didn't hear anything about it, because I definitely knew what you'd have done.

One thing I'm still grateful for is having you by my side during my stay in an uncle's house where I was terribly emotionally exploited by his wife. It was your words of encouragement that kept me going my love. I knew if I had dropped out of school and went home, you probably wouldn't even want to marry an uneducated man.
You've always been my motivational speaker and it's that year you encouraged and influenced me to adopt a habit of going to study in public libraries. I recall the day we went to this other one and we were all hungry and no one carried neither a snack nor extra money to buy food. I must say you were my greatest pillar of strength that year if I'm to be honest. I had failed a major module that year, and who was there for me?