Cinematic Adventures: Shrek

Bad Memories and Lava Bridges

Following the events in Duloc, the motley crew of the Equestrians, Shrek, Donkey, Apple White, and Raven Queen found themselves progressing their way across the landscape in search of the princess Lord Farquaad wanted them to find. Things seemed to grow stranger the further they progressed along this leg of the journey. From meeting new and strange friends, fighting knights in Duloc, there seemed to be no shortage of bizarre occurrences as of late. One thing was absolutely certain: Things were only getting stranger from here on out.

For now though, all they could think about was how they'd been walking nearly all day... and seemingly going nowhere.

"Are we there yet?" Pinkie squeaked.

"No..." The group answered in unison.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

For a moment all was quiet as the group silently eyed Pinkie Pie, who merely skipped about along the beaten path. After a period of nothing further, they slowly turned ahead to get back to the task at hoof...

"Are we there yet—"

"NO!!!"

"Pinkie, please!" Twilight groaned. "We just passed that abandoned mill five minutes ago!"

"Oh yeah... seemed like six!" Pinkie smiled.

"Is your friend usually like this on every adventure," Raven Queen asked.

"No... not often this way..." Rainbow replied. "Usually it's way worse!"

"This may turn into the longest day of my entire life," Shrek muttered.

"Ooh! I got the perfect remedy for that!" Pinkie offered, pulling out a ukelele.

"Oh no, I'm not interested—" Shrek began.

But it was too late!

Pinkie Pie (Sings):
Sing a song.
Yes a travel song
When you gotta go somewhere.
'Cause the fun is getting there.
Yeah. Oh what the heck, I must confess
I love a road trip!

Shrek knew this was going to happen. The group pressed on with the landscape rolling by over the following...

Donkey (Sings):
Sing a song.
Hit the trail.
Forget the maps, forget the guides.
Before ya know it, you've made strides with me. (And me!)

Donkey & Pinkie (Sings):
And I know—all I need—all along
Is a path—and a pal—and a song,
So I'm singin',
And pallin' with you.

"See? It makes the time go by faster!" Donkey smiled.

Shrek (Sings):
Why me?
Why me? (This is nice)
Tell me what was my crime? (We're strolling)
They're as chatty as a parrot,
More annoying than a mime.

"Hey look, a cat who's wearing boots!" Pinkie pointed out. "That's crazy!"

Shrek (Sings):
Why me?
Why me?
A simple answer would be fine. (This is good cardio)
Won't someone please
Send me a sign?

"Oh look, a sign!" Donkey read. "'Yunita Pal Avenue Straight Ahead'!"

Shrek (Sings):
What did I do to deserve this?
Honestly.
This ass'o mine is asinine.
Why me?!!!