THE MODERN GENERATION

FATHERHOOD

A lot of men are being asked to step up and become fathers when they were never fathered themselves. In simple terms, they are required to reach down and pull out something out of nothing. I understand, it's difficult to pour out of an empty cup.

Some never saw a father talk to them genuinely, lovingly, and listen to them attentively, but now they're supposed to do it to someone. They never heard a father validate them or perhaps say "they're proud of them". But now, they're expected to say it to another young man. It's very bizarre and difficult. They never had someone to help them out with school work, put them to bed, but now they're expected to do it.

They never saw a man show up for his family through thick and thin. They never saw a man combating a crisis with composure. They never saw a man loving a woman through all seasons of life. They never saw a man praying. They never saw a man control his anger in tense moments. And yet, they're expected to do all the things.

And what hurts me, is that in most cases, what they saw was a distant and unhinged and uncaring men.

This is my solution, I want every person to understand that being a father is not just biological, and parents must stop keeping children in the exposure of inconsistent men and unavailable men just because they're their biological fathers. We are worsening the situation exposing them to being wounded and confused even more.

Instead, parents must give their sons peace first of all. A quiet home, with one or both parents. But peace nonetheless. That way, they will be able to internalize peace and oneness. There must not be a drunkard who comes home shouting and cursing every day and causing tension just because he bred them. This kind of abuse is what fills boys with anger and contempt for both parents, especially, the father for bullying them and, the mother for keeping the children under it.

Remember, daughters tend to understand, but boys reason. If things don't add up, they reject and become rebellious.

As a parent, please understand and be wise to note that after attaining peace, even without extravagance or the finer life, get the boy mentorship. Let him learn and be exposed to ways of good men from the thousands of available free resources today. There are books, and role models at schools, churches, etc.

It's that simple, and yet so hard for many people to do.

This is the part I want to highlight vividly, as a man you should stop looking for comfort from women because you'll end up being a father when you're not ready for it, and you will create another pain to another human being.