this love is good, this love is bad [wenclair]

chapter 9: flowers pile up in the worst way

TW: mention of self harm

Enid clicked the lights out and there we were. Lying in the dark, staring at the ceiling.
"Thank you", she said barely audibly. "Thank you for playing like that with Tony."
"You mean for winning against him", I corrected.
"Yeah yeah", she chuckled. "No but really, I haven't seen him as competitive and happy in a long time. So thank you."
I had some questions, but held them in.
"Well, it was a pleasure. Anthony was a fair opponent."
She laughed. "He hates it when we use his full name."
"He didn't correct me, so..."
"I guess that's alright then", she said. "Do you have a middle name?"

That was random.

"My mother's and my grandmother's. Somehow I escaped to the eternal Maria for Latinas. You?"
"None."
"Kind of anticlimactic", I commented.
"Yeah, I know."
She sighed.
"I'm probably repeating myself, but I'm so so glad you're here."
By then, my eyes were used to the darkness and I could see how she had turned to me and leaned on her elbow. The only thing I couldn't discern were her eyes, but I could feel her gaze. I turned to my side as well.
"Even though your 'restaurant' choices are questionable, I like it here."
"Come on! The McDonald's is the place to be!", she laughed. "More seriously though, I wanted to take you to that very aesthetic café where they also sell killer paninis and salads."
"You didn't just use the word aesthetic in that context", I teased.
"Yes, I did."
Her smile was audible in her voice.
"Are we taking Anthony with us?", I asked.
"He doesn't like that place, we used to go there with Lucas a lot."
So that was the missing piece, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but there it was. I really didn't understand how this family was so broken, but it started to make sense. I had my idea, but played it dumb because I figured that was the only way to find out.
"Lucas?"

Sneaky, Addams.

"He was Anthony's twin, he-"
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about-"
"No, no, it's fine", she interrupted.
But her shaking voice said otherwise.
"He-, it was such a dumb accident, you know? We were on vacation and decided to go hunting in the woods, and -well- we weren't the only ones hunting. Because he was in his wolf form,he- This hunter just... shot him. He just shot him! And we couldn't do-"
Her breathing became uneven. I got up, that was how Pugsley's hyperventilation attacks began.
"Enid, just calm down. Try breathing in... ...and out, in..."
"That bitch didn't even hesitate, you know, he just- he fucking shot him. He wasn't even menacing him or-"
She still wasn't breathing normally.
"Shhh", I said as I put my hand on hers.

The forest, the cold. I relived everything she had just said. But this vision was different from the others. I was really in her shoes. I felt the desperation.
She had stayed on a bench, while the others were hunting in their wolf forms. She had heard the gunshot and Lucas' scream. She hadn't been able to do anything, but wait until her family was back with the all too predictable news.

"Wednesday, are you okay?", she asked, snapping her fingers in my face.
The lights were on and shone right in my eyes.
"Vision."
I could see her tears and her red face, which I could only imagine in the dark.
"I'm so sorry", was all I could say.
While falling back during my vision, I had let go of her hand.
She clicked the lights off for the second time tonight.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure", she answered.
"How did- How come he passed? Wouldn't the bullets be supposed to be in silver for it to... well, do damage?", I questioned.
She sobbed quietly.
"It's kind of complicated. See, my siblings and I are 'werewolves' because our parents are. And our parents are 'werewolves' because their parents are. That's not the normal way for werewolves to keep the breed alive. The last ones that are 'real' werewolves in my family, were my great grandparents."
"So... Are you guys weaker or-?"
What started as a curiosity, became really interesting.
"Well, yeah, kind of. We almost have the same strength and senses, but we aren't indestructible. Which a real werewolf practically is."

So she really could've died fighting the hyde.

"The genes aren't that strong anymore. Me not wolfing out is a sign of that."
"Why don't you just bite some people?"
She chuckled. "That would be too simple! The thing is, first-generation werewolves are fucking dangerous. They're super strong, impulsive and can't control themselves during full moons."
I nodded, even though she couldn't see it.
"So you -your family- have full control of yourselves? At all times?"
"Yes, we're more lycans. The first time we wolf out is always on a full moon and every full moon we change into our wolf form, but we stay conscious and control our acts", she explained.
"So you're no menace, Enid?", I teased.
"Except if you seek it."
I heard her claws come out.
"Come on, don't ruin your manicure", I said, grabbing her wrist, holding her hand back.
I felt something under my thumb. A crust. A blood crust.
I felt Enid's eyes looking into mine.
It was recent -very recent- or otherwise it would've completely healed by now.
"Say something", she asked, "please."
"You... I- I'm hungry, can we go grab a snack?"
She burst out laughing, I guess it was nervous.
"Wait, I have something here", she said, clicking the lights on, again.
"Ouch, Enid, you've got to announce it when you do that!", I said, covering my eyes. "It's like- painful."
"Oh my sweet little vampire!", she exclaimed, while she searched through a drawer of her desk.
I stopped rubbing my eyes to give her the deadpan look.
"I think I prefer 'drama queen'."
"Do you?", she asked with a smile.
I liked her better like that.
"Here, catch!"
She threw a chocolate bar at me.
"White chocolate?", I commented.
"Shoot, that's mine. Wait, here's yours", she said while throwing another bar at me.
85% dark chocolate.

Much better.

"Thanks."
She closed the drawer and came back to the bed.
"Can I sit here?" She pointed to my mattress. "It's a bit low to sit on my bed", she explained, touching the ceiling with her head. "I know you like your personal space, so that's why I ask-"
"Enid, of course you can", I answered, already scooting over.
She sat cross-legged across from me and opened her chocolate bar.
"So..." I broke the silence because it was getting embarrassingly quiet.
"Just know I really don't do that often and hadn't done it for a long time until four days ago. I just cracked. But I'm okay now", she blurted out.
I took a bite of my chocolate bar, letting it sink in.
"So", I started in between two bites, "do you want to talk about why or not?"
Before answering, Enid swallowed what she had in her mouth.
"I... I don't know", she sighed.
"Well that helps", I chuckled silently, moving my knee just enough for it to touch hers.
She grinned.
"Tempted to make a comment, Sinclair? Again...", I smiled.
But unlike earlier that day, it was genuine and not with the purpose of teasing her.
"I like it when you do that", she said. She motioned to my cheeks. "You've got dimples." She paused. "It's cute."
I frowned. She continued to eat her chocolate.
"Wait no, that's even cuter!"
I knew I was blushing. I hated it.
"Don't."
Of course that made the smile on her face even bigger.
We ate in silence and she finished before I did. She threw the packaging in the garbage can (yes, she made the throw) and she laid back in her bed. A bit later, I finished as well and threw my packaging away.
Just before turning the lights out for the last time that day, she turned to me.
"I'm probably repeating myself but really, I'm so happy you were willing to come here."

~~~

Everyone was gathered at the entrance of the church. A lot of people I saw at the barbecue were there, along with some I had never seen before, all dressed in black. There were also some children. No, actually, there were a lot of children. Way too many for such an event. Everyone was whispering. "Such a tragedy!" "Why on earth?!" "So unfair." Almost all of the children were playing a game. Something like playing tag, because they were all chasing each other. Well, almost. There were two girls standing with the adults. One of them had a little boy in her arms, she had blonde hair that ended right above her chin. It was Enid, she was holding a much younger Anthony. The girl by her side was Yoko. She put her hand on Enid's shoulder and whispered something in her ear. Enid wasn't crying, but she had puffy eyes. And little Anthony in her arms, he didn't seem to really understand what was happening. Just like the kids playing tag. Death was a foreign concept to them. Incomprehensible and distant. They looked uncomfortable in their very formal, black clothes.
The clock struck eleven and the big group in front of the church split, letting the coffin pass. Suddenly, it got very quiet. The coffin was way too small. Coffins should never be that small. Never. Four people were carrying it, when two would've been enough. I recognized Enid's parents and Neil. The fourth one looked exactly like Tony but around fifteen years older. Probably a cousin. The coffin passed and everyone followed inside.
Not even ten minutes into the ceremony, a loud sob was audible. It Anthony's. Enid tried to calm him down, but didn't succeed. He got even more agitated and ran out of the church. Yoko was faster than Enid and immediately reacted. She needed a second but followed him outside as well. And so did I. Once outside, it wasn't the small, cute town church anymore, but we were surrounded by trees. The forest was dark and felt threatening and both Anthony and Yoko were nowhere to be found.