When A Slaughterhouse Becomes A Home (selfcest/tomarry)

sixteen

The words that Potter's been whispering become clearer and clearer, as if a veil has been lifted to reveal them. Potter's saying Kill. He's point blank commanding it.

And as Harry duels Umbridge with his friends by his side... he does consider it. He thinks that even before the battle began, this was destined to happen. He fights and fights to kill, despite whatever his friends are doing. This woman will lie dead below his feet before he allows her to step all over him again. He would sit here and watch her carve her name into her forehead with a Blood Quill until she bled out, but they don't quite have time for that.

Is this what it means to live? Is Harry finally living?

He thinks so. He thinks that with Potter and with Ron and with Hermione, he is a complete man.

(Or not quite complete. Tom would have enjoyed to have witnessed this, Harry Potter's first murder.)

Harry sidesteps a cutting curse and sends one of his own, only it's more powerful, Potter amplifying all of his spells for him from afar. "I will not be pushed around," Harry says in a low tone.

He moves closer. Hermione blocks a spell with a shield and Ron whoops, all faintly heard. Harry has tunnel vision. He has his friends fighting with him, but this isn't really their battle.

No. This is personal. This is between Harry and Umrbdige -- everyone else is soundly secondary, and he thinks everyone knows it, because Ron and Hermione let him do all the heavy lifting.

It's a good thing. If they were too involved in the fight, they might just get hurt. Harry is too honed in on Umbridge to pay too much attention to any of his other surroundings. He ducks and dodges and weaves and thinks look at me, Potter; are you impressed? Aren't I something special? Worth protecting?

If I will live forgive, I want to live like this; in a manner that is truly living.

You're wrong to want us dead, Potter. I will show you the beauty of life. And he decides that he will, right then. He will convince Potter that he doesn't need to kill himself; that it is okay if they live to become immortal, because life, it really is beautiful.

He will show him the wonders of the world, like death. Death truly is wonder, especially when it happens to those that you hate.

So he will kill Dolores Umbridge. He doesn't know if Potter killed Umbridge in his own reality, but either way, it should be remarkable.

Harry is remarkable.

Harry shoots off the killing curse and even as Umrbidge dodges it, she pales. "What are you doing?" she says, trying to keep her voice even but obviously failing.

"I will not be bullied," he says, and he thinks of the cut on his hand, the way he bled for hours afterwards. He thinks of Ron's reaction to it. And he hates, so deep in his gut that it must be corporal. He hates that he was put in a position in which he was weak.

He is not weak. He is remarkable.

"I will not be bullied," says Harry, sending an explosive curse her way. Her desk is on fire and every student has or is feeling the floor. He knows that the Headmaster will be here any minute. His time is running thin. "I will not be slandered." He finishes the word with a grunt as he takes a particularly nasty hex to the leg.

He stands up straight regardless of the pain. There is a flare of danger in his eyes. He points his wand out at Umbridge. "Most importantly," he says, and his voice is its own kind of spell, "I will not be stopped."

He roars. He charges.

He kills her with his two good hands.

He stands over Umbridge's body, huffing and puffing, as he rises slowly. He turns to face Hermione and Ron, who are standing there with matching shocked expressions on their face.

"Before you speak," he says, in a deep, low voice that doesn't feel his own, "tell me, honestly, that you wouldn't have done the same."

Hermione blinks at him and the shock turns to horror. "You killed her," she whispers. "You killed someone -- Harry, this isn't good."

"No, I agree," says Harry, brightly. "It's not good; it's great."

"You can't just kill people, Harry!" snaps Hermione, nearing hysterical. She grabs at her hair and yanks at it nervously. "This is what Voldemort would do. Voldemort would kill her and he would just move to the next stage in the plan."

"What do you want me to do?" snarls Harry. "Mourn her?"

Hermione lets out a short scream. "I don't know! I don't know, okay, I don't know!"

That's surprising. Hermione always knows what to do. "I'm sorry," says Harry, even though he's really not. "But this had to be done."

"You hurt Sybill and you hurt Umbridge. I can't believe I fought alongside you."

Harry's face scrunches up with hurt. "That's not fair," he says.

Hermione laughs. "What is fair about this? You blocked us out and then whenever we join alongside you, you betray our trust again!'

"Hermione," chides Ron.

"What?" snaps Hermione, twirling toward him.

"You should have seen what he did to him. I know I told you about it... but it's not the same. You should have seen it." Ron takes a deep breath. "And, anyway, it doesn't matter now. Focus on the living, right? And we need to save Sirius." He says this not because Sirius is important to him, but because Sirius is important to Harry.

Harry's heart swells with love.

Hermione stalks off, saying that she has nothing to do with this. She says she's sorry before she leaves. Ron stays by his side and Potter smiles ominous in the background.

There is one thing oddly noted: the Headmaster does not arrive to the scene.