The Camera Heist: A Criminal Memoir

Part Two: The Sneaker fiasco

One early afternoon I was hanging out in our mutual lair, my tiny studio apt, typing away on my old-timey typewriter, received as a recent birthday present from my Aunt Sandy, creating a poem, an ode to darkness.

I heard the key turn in the lock, and the door slowly and forcefully opened. It would have burst open due to my brother's excitement, but that was physically impossible, since the entire lair was covered in what we called "the Mess".

We saw this Mess as an utterly dark and sentient monster, a living blob of darkness and chaos, animated and kept animated by our very neglect.

Kept alive of its own accord of course. This was no ordinary pile of trash, but something sentient, devious, and as unique as we were. Not a dead thing, but a living strange force, with its own ideas, wants, dreams and schemes.

This "Mess" covered every single inch of my studio floor. Even much higher than the floor in certain places. There was an ugly officially provided carpet underneath, but it was lost under the vastness and depth of the Mess, as were many other things under it.

The door usually has to be manhandled and forced open, to make the Mess withdraw, long enough for our entry and exit obviously. No one including myself could enter fast, without forcing the Mess back in retreat.

This Mess very much seemed alive to us both, aware, awake, and in complete utter control of our lair, except by direct force by myself or my brother Joseph. We were the only two to ever enter our dark and weird lair willingly, and so quite familiar with its tricks.

Yes, was this a case of our shared insanity? You decide as always. This day Joseph entered, pushing back the Mess, to open our door excitedly, and with force.

We both knew better by now, the Mess was something real, and certainly real to us, and integral to our lair. It was never my mess, but our mess, we both created it together. It seemed like a third occupant, and anything we would actually do, we'd have to take into account its presence at all times. As Joseph entered our small shared lair, his excitement was something palpable, something real to both of us obviously, and this wasn't something small nor petty. Everything mattered to us to some degree, and all things in our lives had their unique importance.

He seemed to me very excited, and his excitement became mine of course. Brotherly energy was somehow physically and maybe psychically contagious, what excited my brother Joseph would ultimately excite me. We were amazingly similar in this respect.

We often shared minds as we shared lives in many aspects. What befell Joseph, often befell myself as well. Our fates by this time were actually linked, whether we wished it or not, but oddly enough, we actually did wish it.

When our fates were linked.we were linked forever obviously. When Joseph entered our lair, and forced the Mess back to enter, I sat there watching, writing paused, wondering of his strange excitement. His exhilaration was on his face for me to see of course. Joseph had a damned good reason for his strange excitement and forceful entry obviously.

There was something he was eager to share with me right then. We shared pretty much everything, as blood brothers. His few failures were mine ultimately, and my small successes were his as well.

We shared plenty, food, thoughts, ideas, and many behaviors and traits, and the only major exception was sex. He had girlfriends, too damned many, somehow, which was something I would never understand, and never could obviously.

This was a knowledge and awareness we never shared, and never would. God I wanted to know about these things as he obviously did, these were Joseph's powers and abilities, which I never got obviously. Charming girls was his nature, but not mine.