Almost Had Me (Passion Book 2)

Chapter Five

Of all the things Eddie Diaz were grateful for, it was Buck. He was grateful for the second chance, that he was in his lover's bed, that said lover had his head resting on Eddie's shoulder. 

He looked so peaceful asleep, younger than his twenty-six years. All the tension from a few hours ago had melted from his features. 

He regretted snapping at Buck the way he did. At waving away his concern. He knew that Buck was a kind soul, who worried about those around him. Maybe more than himself. After all, he'd just been trying to help. 

It wasn't his fault that Eddie was scarred, that he had PTSD that he'd hidden from Buck. He wanted to be a good boyfriend, but he felt that he was too damaged to be able to be the kind of person that Buck needed him to be. That his demons were too all-consuming, and that they would consume Buck as well. That was his biggest fear when it came to the man he loved; he didn't want his darkness to snuff out the light that existed in Buck. 

Even though he knew that Buck loved him, and that he would stick by his side no matter what. 

But what would be best for him? 

Probably not being with Eddie, but Eddie was an inherently selfish creature, and he desperately wanted to be with Buck. 

"You're my life," he whispered in his sleeping lover's ear. "You are the breath I breathe." 

"That's sappy," Buck mumbled, but he was smiling nonetheless. 

Eddie leaned in and kissed his forehead. "You're adorable when you're sleeping." 

Buck's smile faded into a frown. "I'm a man. I'm not cute." 

He rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Oh, forgive me. You're so manly and buff when you sleep." 

Buck's smile was back, their argument seemingly forgotten. 

Eddie had always been jealous of the way that Buck could brush aside unpleasantness. He could move on so easily. He never held anything over Eddie's head, much to his gratitude. 

I must treat this man better, he told himself. 

Tilting Buck's head back with his fingers, Eddie kissed him. Softly, tenderly, trying to communicate his love. Buck responded, kissing back and pulling him closer by placing a hand in the middle of his back. 

"I love you," Eddie said in a soft yet fierce voice. 

Buck stroked the side of his face, running his fingers over the stubble that had grown. "I know. I love you too, and that terrifies me." 

"I know. But we have our whole lives to get used to this feeling." 

He raised an eyebrow. "You're scared too?" 

Eddie nodded. "I'm scared of how quickly the depth of my feelings for you have developed. I'm scared of losing you again." He paused, then said the thing that terrified him the most. "I'm scared of introducing you to my grandmother." 

This peaked Buck's interest. He pulled away slightly, pushing himself up onto his elbows, and gazing at Eddie. 

"She's traditional, I'm guessing." 

"Very," 

Buck was silent for a moment. "Well, if it's easier, you don't have to introduce me." 

"But I want to." Eddie said. 

"Where is all of this coming from?" 

"I don't know," he shrugged. Why was he suddenly afraid of introducing his boyfriend to his grandmother? They would do that when the time was right. Not today. He shook his head, attempting to dispel the thought. "Anyways. Do you want to play hooky today?"