9646 words for you guys today to apologize for my shitty upload rate ://
TW: mentions of eating and difficulty eating
***
Holly's POV
***
Hot water slides down my back as I face the wall away from the showerhead. It's late morning and early afternoon with my phone reading 11:45 on the marbled bathroom counter, lounging by my folded clothes ready for the day ahead. The guys are shooting a video today for Sidemen Sunday and I'm excited because it's the roast. They had a roast happen like, three years ago, but it seems the guys have healed for a second one.
I allow myself to stay under the hot water for a few more seconds, counting down from five, and then turn the water off. I step onto my bathmat and towel my body dry before wrapping up my wet hair. I should've showered earlier now that my hair is longer than ever and takes FOREVER to dry, but I was lazy and wanted to slob in bed. We're not leaving until twelve-thirty thankfully, but still, not much time.
I pull on my khaki cargos and pair it wih an off-the shoulder white sweater and my usual white hightops from puma. Next, I move on to makeup and keep it simple, only adding mascara, eyeliner, and a little concealer. The lack of sleep I've been dealing with over the past two weeks is insane, but I can only blame it on my anxiety driven insomnia due to the fact that my mock exams are next week. Next bloody week! I genuinely can't believe it's happening and that my final A-level exams are drawing closer. It's a scary thought and I'd rather push it away, however, it's hard to ignore when the teachers keep nagging at us to revise and do well.
I take a deep breath and look at myself in the mirror. The stress is real.
After blowdrying my hair and styling it the best I can, I walk downstairs and see Harry and Tobi in the living room, all dressed and laughing about something. They've been staying here along with Talia and Simon for two weeks now as their house situation has been catastrophic, and to be honest, I do like it. It's like living with them in the old house again in a way.
"All ready to go, love?" Ella asks me, pulling on her white gilet over her tanned bodysuit. Her amber curls fall over her shoulders and her smile is warmer than the sun. I love her so much.
"Yeah," I reply, adjusting my bag over my shoulder. "Where's JJ?"
"He's still getting pretty," Ella sighs playfully, rolling her eyes. "Men"
"Men," I nod in agreement.
I sit on the last step of the staircase while waiting for JJ, and feel sad when I realize that Ella and Talia won't be at the roast with us. They're going to run errands and have lunch together and then after that, Ella's going with Talia to get her photos taken for her new single coming out. I kinda wish I could go with them, but JJ says he wants me to come to the roast and be near him. I don't blame him. After what happened in Switzerland. It's like he's scared I'm going to fall apart if I'm not near him, which is probably painfully true.
***
We get to the venue a surprising ten minutes early and walk inside where Josh (who's always the earliest) is testing the microphone on the stage. Chairs line the left wing and I feel the familiar jumble of anxiety plague my stomach when I see how many people I'm going to have to sit with in the audience.
"You're on the edge, don't worry," JJ says, pointing to my seat on the end near the exit.
"Yeah, don't remind me," I mumble under my breath.
I take my seat and wait for everyone else to file in. Thankfully, it's mostly people I know from parties and events and the guys, but there are a few people I've never spoken to as well. I perk up when I see Callux, but he sits in the front row, and the excitement I felt a few seconds ago now fizzles quick. I look down at my phone pretending to be busy and suddenly out of the corner of my eye, see the seat next to me being taken. I look up despite my nerves and feel my heartbeat level out when I see it's Chip from Freezy's podcast.
