Vulnerability||29

851 22 4
                                    


I can't help feeling insecure as the sundress I picked out is showing my scars. Too bad...The sundress was yellow with pretty flowers on it but I don't think I can wear it. It's currently June. Yeah, we've been in the hell hole for quite some time...

Annoyance fills me as I change quickly abandoning the sundress idea and slip on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt. It'll be hot but whatever. It makes me feel at least covered up for now.

     Vance told me he'd be over here by three pm, which it was Saturday meaning no school. Not like I was going to school...I quickly slip my shoes and head out towards my living room where my dad is watching TV.

     He turns to look at me. "Your wearing that?" My dad asks. He looks as if I'm wearing a scarf and mittens. But I might as well be on the route of clothing I'm going down.

      "Yeah...?" I reply back looking down. I didn't think my outfit looked that bad though.

     "Y/n it's hot out today!" My dad smiles as on cue the sun beams in through the window. "Come on." My dad ushers me back into my room.

     It's not until we're in my room and he sees the sundress on the bed laid out. "Y/n that dress would look beautiful on you. Why not wear it?" My dad asks and I can't seem to answer him.

     "I just can't." I then reply to that question in which I've been keeping the answer to myself this whole time.

      "You can't or you just won't?" He questions and although I was so headstrong about not wearing it for the reason I'd look ugly. But that won't settle right with him I'm sure. I'm starting to bring my nails to my mouth and start biting them. "Y/n."

     "I-...I don't want anyone seeing my scars." I mumble out. My nervous jitters now disintegrate into ashes. The leftover burn stinging my heart and my gut.

     "Sweetie...Those scars show that you survived." My dad sweeps me into a hug. I lean into him as I feel my heart clench. I've never felt so in touch with my parents. Especially my dad from how busy he is.

     "But they make me look like a victim of terrible crimes. I just don't want anyone looking at me differently." I say finally. I've realized that this whole time I wasn't scared of looking
ugly in front of everyone ever, it was because I was scared of looking vulnerable like I did in that basement. "I used to be on the cheer team always smiling, straight A's and everyone knew me for my smile. I feel like I barely smile, I quit the team because of my depression and my grades are slipping because the time I was at school I was depressed and stressed."

     "Y/n, sweetie you are survivor. You survived what many kids couldn't. You along with those other boys made it out." He squeezes me which only makes me realize more of the feelings I've had since I've been home. "Even if you went through a stage where you changed and were depressed your still my daughter and I love you even after everything." Emotions flood out of me but yet I don't cry as revelation sparks's

     "Thank you dad." I reply whispering into him as I squeeze him tighter until he lets go. I finally gather up myself and watch as my dad leaves my room to go back to watching whatever he was previously.

I change leaving the jeans and long t-shirt, slipping into the sundress again and now looking at myself in a new perspective. "Y/n Y/l/n. You are a strong ass person and deserve to not let crowded memories shame you now!" I raise and point a finger at the mirror.

I don't know whether I was trying to convince myself or convince the demon in the back of my head. I slip on white converse on because they look good with the dress.

Brushing my hair out again worried, I haven't seen Vance since the incident. Walking out into the living room seeing my dad standing at the door talking to Vance. He's wearing his jean vest with jeans along with them. As if he could sense me, he looks toward my direction with gaping eyes.

I feel the heat rise to my cheeks as he looks well astonished or amazed. My dad catches on to his change in sight and so he also turns back to see me. My dad just smiles and then clarifies I can't be out past ten pm. Which is generous amount of time.

Grabbed(VancexReader)Where stories live. Discover now