b a c k b u r n e r

prologue

"i gave my all to you but unfortunately, it wasn't enough."

***

"Tell me you don't want to leave. Say I'm enough to make you stay. I know it's not true, but please just say it."

Aubrey pleads, her eyes, puffy reds from crying stare at Kieran's panting body. Kieran sits on the floor, holding her hands, face buried deep in her thighs.

" I'm so so sorry, A. I just, I can't "

"Your eyes can be so cruel.." She lift up his face and looked into his eyes, he had no sympathy, they were cold and dead. Yes, he was also crying but could he really care less about her? Was she nothing to him?

"You- you said we would keep trying! Please don't leave me again," She cries even harder.

Kieran tighten his hold before cupping her face on his hands. He wiped her tears and trace her eyebrows before pecking her lips softly.

" I hurt you badly these past three years, Aubrey. If I didn't do it last night, you wont ever leave me. You said it yourself, love. You deserved better than me. "

" But, I don't want other person! I want you!. Kieran, jesus christ, I only want you! " she shakes her head and felt the breath stuck in her throat, before lets out another painful cries.

During her three years of relationships, Kieran was the only person Aubrey can sees her future with. Kieran builds her a home and paint all her dreams to life. Aubrey would even jump in front of a flying bullet for Kieran.

He's her first everything and she had no regrets when she chose to leave her childhood house to moved in with him, just after six months of dating. They both met on a dating app, both just got out from their previous relationship, and no one would expect Kieran to responds to Aubrey's random invite for cuddles and deep talks.

Months later, Aubrey was in their kitchen, cutting chicken and Kieran was next to her, stir frying white rice with saori, a weird spices Kieran claimed were great for their tastebud. Months later and they're suddenly moving boxes into their first apartment, laughing all the way up cause they were pretty sure they didn't know which box is which.

Aubrey had Kieran and it was enough for her. Her family is a mess and Kieran introduce her to his, and there, it felt like home for her. His siblings, Christa and Clark adores her, meanwhile his mom treats her like she was her own. Since then, Aubrey world revolves around Kieran and her new founded family.

Which is why, when Aubrey came home last night and Kieran seemed off, she knew rightaway. She just never thought that seeing a woman on their bed would be the reason why. She cries and cries, cursing the woman god-damn existent, and the woman did nothing. Kieran has to take her to the guest bedroom for her to finally calm down. Kieran has to pull exactly six minutes before Aubrey came back to their empty apartment, with a note from the woman, claiming she was offended with whatever Aubrey were cursing earlier and had no intention on hooking up with Kieran anymore.

Aubrey has her world crumbles in split seconds that day, She no longer remembers the words Kieran mom told her last night.

"I'm sorry I'm not the shade of her, I'm sorry I don't make your heart leap out of your chest like she did and I'm sorry because although you already have me, you've already moved houses and yet home is not her and not me." Aubrey sniffs, still holding tightly to his hands.

" No. It wasn't like that. I don't know Aubs, don't you think our love has became toxic? I slept with her just to see if I misses you, if I still love you " Kieran's black orbs stare back to Aubrey's, and she can sees confusion written all over it.

" If you still love me? God damnit, Kie! God damnit! Three years means nothing?! Did you flipped a switch?! You slept with her just to see if you still love me?! What the fuck was that?! "

" We are not good for each other, Aubs! I hurt you and then you went all hell even crazier on me! It's like you don't want to be apart from me! Like every single second of my life, I have to spend it with you! It's like you're going to vanish into thin air if I'm not with you! It's sickening! "

"Oh. I'm crazy Alex Kieran? Don't you want to ask yourself how did you treat me these past three years? That's not fair! You drew stars around my scars and now I'm bleeding! "

Silence hungs on the air after that. Kieran too stunned to speak and Aubrey too sad to even defend her pride.

"We should just sell this place and lived on our own. We should spend time with ourselves. I don't think it's the right time for us to stay together, right now. "

Kieran's voice is raspy, signaling he's not even sure with what he's saying but Aubrey knows better than to beg. Instead, she wiped her tears and nod.

" We'll give it three days. Three days and we have to be out of this place. "

Kieran squeezes her hands, and Aubrey tries to hold herself from crying even more. They're actually ending it right now. This one is not like their previous fights. This time, it's raw. 'This time they're actually saying goodbye to everything they dreamed of.

" Guess there won't be Kagiri Ezekia and Rhea Olivia, huh? "

Kieran smile faintly and right that moment, Aubrey knows that she's on her own now.

***

a.n I honestly don't know what to feel about this, this one was painful to write