KEEP CALM AND STAY WEIRD (book of randomness and funny jokes)

Funny Sayings and Random Shiz xD

Hey, Blue here. Sorry I took too long to update, you know, school, yeah......... 

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Funny Sayings:

* Kids are like farts. You don't mind your own, but other peoples are unbearable.

* The only thing worse than hearing the alarm clock in the morning is not hearing it.

* When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car

* When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic

* Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

* Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours.

* C.L.A.S.S; Come late and start sleeping.

*Whoever laughs last, didn't get it.

*Smelt it, dealt it.

* Constipated People Don't Give A Crap. (A/N personal favourite)

* Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. (A/N you have to know who Chuck Norris is to get the joke)

* I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

* I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

*I tried being normal for one day.....when I woke up I failed. XD

*I wanted to be normal for one day........but I got bored and went back to being me.

* GOD created the world, everything else is made in China.

* This sentence is a lie. (A/N Apparently this a paradox. Thanks to a smart Wattpad troll I get it now)

* You laugh because I'm different...I laugh cause I just farted!

* You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

* You hear a song once and know the lyrics, but you study for a test hundreds of times and still never get it.

*(A/N for the guys out there) Anything you say will be held against you. ... "tits"

*Don't drink and drive.....you might spill your drink.

* I used to think procrastinating was something else............O.O

*Reece Mastin's fans are called Mastinators. Ummm.....okay totally not thinking of something else.........................

*Life is short, make fun of it..uh I mean make the most of it

*Baby rabbits are called kittens.

*I say STUFF a lot.

*I'm out of funny sayings......true story guys

*You read sentence this wrong. (thanks @ReadingOverlord)

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So......what did you think? 

Let me know which one was your favourite and if you have any others feel free to share 

Peace out :) 

Blue