Immortal in 21st century

II. She was so pretty

She was so pretty
My heart fluttered and mind went blank,
She was so pretty I had to hold my breath.
There was no place for awkwardness, yet I still could feel it,
Because she was my best friend.
Be it thousand years I finally found someone worth that name.
Then why the times I couldn't feel at ease.
She was like an idol for her only fan,
Because I was also special for her,
Because she was my best friend.
That closeness now makes me cry and i can't get over it,
My mind wanted to crush her, like after seeing something sweet,
Something we want to protect.
Then why couldn't I do that? Why is she gone?