Regrets | Norray

Chapter 1

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A/N: I haven't actually finished the manga yet, so no spoilers, and don't tell at me if it's not like the end at all!

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Every day is the same. I stared up at the clouds.

Every day I'm alone in this mess.

"Hey, Ray! C'mon, play tag with us- just this once!" Emma waved both of her hands in my direction, grinning obliviously.

"Yeah, Ray! Join us!" Norman tried to wave me over.

I narrowed my eyes in irritation. All he ever did was try to get Emma what she wanted. It was getting a bit desperate. Why couldn't he lo-? No, Ray! Damnit! If you keep letting feelings like this get in the way, you'll never be able to get everyone out.

I was still definitely against it, but I agreed to bring everyone along, and I meant it. I did it for Norman, who did it for Emma. He always does what she wants. When they're in a relationship, and I predict they will be, it won't be very stable.

I said something about it privately to Norman once, but he just continued with his mud-boat nonsense. That's what I'll turn into for Norman if I'm not careful- an even more mentally unstable mess who can't do what needs to be done. I only have to keep going so much longer. When I set Grace Field ablaze, I'll perish in my home. I'll burn. I smiled softly at the idea of death, but quickly changed my expression to my irritated one as I saw my friends coming over.

I've lost some respect for Norman due to his reckless antics in Emma's name, and I can't help but feel a hatred for Emma. I don't mean to. Her and Norman were the only two people I ever really cared about, and they stuck around since they were higher grades, but how could Norman love Emma so much?

I ask this question to myself every day, and it aggravates me how I know the answer every time. She's lively. She's selfless. She smiles. And she's female. I frowned at the two beside me.

"Are you okay, Ray? You're a bit more emo than usual," she chuckled and poked my shoulder.

"Quit calling me that." I grumbled, glancing in Norman's direction for some defense.

He only smiled Emma's same, stupid smile, "Lighten up, Ray."

My face darkened as I turned my head back to my book. He always was like her now. I hated Emma. I hated her so, so much. There was no way I even-! Stop it! I'm not even going to be alive for much longer. Quit trying to talk yourself out of your plans. This life has only caused you pain. It's not going to get better, so stop. You've been planning this for six years!!

"Raaaay~!" Emma shook me back and forth playfully.

I snapped back in a loud voice, "I SAID NO!"

Both Emma and Norman were taken aback.

"O-okay..." Emma hurried away, "Sorry."

Norman watched Emma leave, immediately wanting to run after her, but he fought the urge and turned to Ray, "Are you sure you're okay...?"

"It doesn't matter, Norman, so go chase after your girlfriend." I muttered angrily, letting the wind blow my hair in front of my face.

Norman was once again taken aback, and somewhat red-faced, "W-what-?"

"Go." I repeated in a calmer voice, knowing that's all he wanted to do- chase after Emma some more.

Norman smiled at me before taking off.

I exhaled shakily as teardrops slipped onto my book pages, "Damnit..." I laid my head back on the tree I was sitting at and took a few deep breaths.

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