CHAPTER 1

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Hey my name's Emily Rose, I'm a normal teenage girl. I live in Bytom and learn there, my best friend is Dawid Czech, yeah, we do film Tik Toks together but today he wasn't here cause he got kidnapped by choo choo Charles. Oh Dawid and his friends, he has fun every day. I only have my cute boys from anime...from HETALIA.. That's why I decided to record a video by myself, where I try to summon Thomas and Friends, I laid on the tracks and started singing the intro. I attached to the train railway, I felt like I was gonna leave like a train BUT, then I felt something different. I felt an ominous gaze on me. When I tried to get away from the tracks, I couldn't do it, it was like I got glued to them with superglue or my tears. Then I felt it. Thomas the Train striked me going up to 140 horsepower per hour. Then I lost my consciousness.

Suddenly I woke up, surrounded by a million roses, how did I know without getting up? Cause I had one in my ass

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Suddenly I woke up, surrounded by a million roses, how did I know without getting up? Cause I had one in my ass. When I looked around, I noticed I wasn't on the train tracks anymore, but in HETALIA?! I grabbed myself by the head, was Dawid right?! No, this isn't possible! I got up, or more like I tried to, because the rose in my ass was a bit disruptive. I felt like the time my parents tried to give me back at the Green Market. I can't believe it. I'm in Hetalia!? This can't be true, what about Dawid Czech? Well, to be honest it's fine,He has more connections there with 666 demons descending elevators to hell than I do. He'll manage, in the end he's a strong and independent man.

But what about me?! How will I manage in HETALIA!! What about my phone!! If I try to get it fixed, they'll find 420 porn drawings of Germany from HETALIA, OR WORSE, MY WALLPAPER FROM AMERUS YAOI!? What will I do without my kidnapped by Harry Style...

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

But what about me?! How will I manage in HETALIA!! What about my phone!! If I try to get it fixed, they'll find 420 porn drawings of Germany from HETALIA, OR WORSE, MY WALLPAPER FROM AMERUS YAOI!? What will I do without my kidnapped by Harry Styles fanfics... Oh well, this is my reality now. At least I'm not in Hogwarts cause I wouldn't want my ovaries ripped out again...
Suddenly I heard a distant voice with a strong Italian accent that got closer as fast as the train did.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GET UP - He screamed,
- DON'T SCREAM AT ME, I'M GETTING UP - I got up. And looked who it was. Over me stood some weirdo. I looked precisely and it was FELICIANO VARGAS?! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I told you it was a weirdo.
- STOP LAYING LIKE THAT.
From the distance I could hear someone screaming in German, the sound of running was identical to a fucking elephant. Suddenly from behind the bushes jumped out LUDWIG BEILSCHMIDT and fell on Feliciano, after that I instinctively yelled YAOI!! The boys looked at me like at some psycho. And to be honest, I'm not surprised, my best friend is Dawid Czech. Ludwig yelled something in German so yelled back "Was Kapusta i Kwas"* [ it rhymes in polish] like a true Pole would.
- SCALLOPIA GET UP GOD, LUDWIG SHE'S AFRAID OF GERMANS!! - Feliciano screamed like my father after seeing discounts for beer.
From the stress I started singing a specific line from Rota, my beautiful voice of an angel blew away with the wind, for everyone to hear my patriotic songs.
Hearing my voice of an angel devil right from heaven for angels, some mutated frog jumped out of the bushes. I got so scared when I saw his face that looked like a fundraiser was assisting him cause even a prayer won't help his dog face, that instead of Rota I started singing the German anthem. These emotions were too much for me. When Ludwig heard it, he became dumbfounded and lost consciousness, leaving Feliciano squished like a pancake under his lifeless body, I yelled YAOI again, cause it's in my nature. Sometimes people are born with psychological problems...I looked at FRANCIS BONNEFOY, who looked like a frog ran over by a bicycle, but this time my nerves didn't let go because somehow I got used to his deformed face. He got up and walked up to me.
- What is such a beautiful lady doing in the company of these freaks? - he asked as if he wasn't a freak himself. Not only is he ugly but his head is as empty as the French street after endless assaults. I looked at him again but I'd prefer if I was blind.
- Well in your company I would prefer to enter a foster home on my own. - I answered him by finally taking the roses out of my ass because these thorns are about to give me ulcers. Francis was so surprised that his face was so deformed that he looked like a cat shitting in the desert...or does he always look like that? I don't know, what I do know is that if I don't run away from this twat, I'll start looking like I work in a circus (so like him).

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 03, 2023 ⏰

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