South Park One Shot Part 2

Screw You Cousin Cartman (Reader - Eric's Cousin)

This story takes place in the back of Cartman's yard, the birds were chirping and the leaves were falling off the trees. The weather was as lovely as the town was silent and at peace....

Eric Cartman was inside his room all excited to be the wizard king again. He played this game a few times and FINALLY! He accepted princess Kenny to be on his team. He was mostly excited to play this game considering Kyle was on the opposite team with Stan. Eric was ready to kick Kyle's butt and gloat about it for weeks.

"Poopikins!!" He heard from his mother downstairs, "Your cousin is here!!" She finished causing him to take a moment to process that. "Oh god." He groaned. He heard the fast feet stomping up the stairs. "Oh god take cover!!" He yelled and ran for the door and held it closed as the door was busting in from the other side. There was laughing and knocking. "Mister wizard man can I pweez pway?!" She yelled from the other side.

"No! You can't play!" Eric yelled.

At that moment the knocked stopped at he heard a loud scream and crying coming from the other side. "AUNTIE!!!! ERIC WON'T LET ME PWAYYYYY!"

He heard his mom's footsteps come up the stairs and his cousin sniffling as if they were crying,

"Eric, Sweetie, you need to let (y/n) play too." his mom said.

"But mooooooom." Eric whined.

"No buts, you let your cousin play right now." she demanded.

"Fine." Eric was mumbling under his breath as he opened the door.  His cousin ran in and gave him a hug, while they were still sniffling.

"Tank you cousin." She hollered while purposely talking like a baby.

Eric pushed them off of him.  He hated his cousin, they always got what they wanted whenever they came to visit.  His mom always favored them to him.

"You're gonna be on Kyle's side, they don't have as many people on their side as I do, cause they aren't as cool and I'm awesome." Eric said, not wanting to spend time with his cousin as much as he had to.

Eric was dreading this very moment. Now he knew how Kyle felt when his cousin Kyle came to visit. It was LAME! However, he brought (y/n) to Kyle's and Stan's base.

"Guys, this is (y/n).  They are visiting for awhile, and my mom is making her play with us.  I'm sorry guys, my mom is so lame."  Eric pushed (y/n) towards Kyle and Stan.

The boys didn't know what to think about having Eric's cousin play on their team.  What if they were like Eric? Or what if they were worse?

Eric went back to his base without saying bye.  He was relieved to get away from his cousin. As soon as Eric was out of sight, (y/n) pulled something out of their backback that they had brought with them.  It was Eric's favorite stuffed animal, Clyde frog.

"I don't know if you guys are fighting to win, but if are, a hostage that he cares about might help."  (Y/n) became very serious. 

Kyle and Stan took a second to process what she just said AND what she had in her hand. The first one to speak was Kyle as he smiled real wide, "you're fatass's cousin huh? I'm guessing this is revenge on him being in your family? Dude, so sorry your in such a corrupted family. " He said while Stan nodded.

She shook her head, "don't be sorry about ME. I enjoy seeing my stupid cousin. Speaking of, did you know my cousin keeps a journal hidden in his room somewhere.  I bet there's some funny things in there.  Like, super embarrassing things in there, like when he crapped his pants at the grocery store after eating way too many sugar free gummy bears."

The boys didn't take too long to start laughing out loud. "WHAT?! YOU CANT BE SERIOUS?! HAHA! THATS AWESOME!" What else can you tell us about his childhood?"

___________

"Princess Kenny it's time! Prepare for the worst! For tonight we face my horrible cousin, the worst elf of them all!!" He said while pointing his staff in the direction of the back door of his home. He saw the door open but instead of (Y/N), it was Stan. "What are YOU doing here? Where's my cousin elf?!"

"I am here with a raven!" He said while holding up his phone and sent Cartman a Tweet from his phone. Eric took a moment to look down and see a picture of his Frog stuffed toy tired up and hanging up from a rope above a fire-pit with the caption, 'surrender or your pet becomes a nice meal of frog legs.'

His eyes widened drastically as he looked up at Stan. "WHAT FHE HELL IS THIS?! WHO THE FUCK HAS MY Clyde Frog?!" He yelled.

"I am only here to pass the message, if you want to save your pet, you must meet at the Elvan kingdom and surrender the stick of truth."

"I will do NO such thing!" Eric barked.

"Alright well in that cause I'll send a raven to my king and let him know-"

"Kyle?! Your telling me that Kyle is playing dirty now?! That's sneaky Jew!! I'll be sure to get back at him for this!"

"Just surrender the stick and your frog won't get hurt."

"Fuck that! I have the stick and I say you have to give me Clyde back!" He yelled.

"I don't see you holding the stick now do I?" Stan said while giving him a look of concern. Eric was not amused as he quickly got up and made his way to the tent to only see a note where the stick LAST was seen. Anger filled his system as he slowly approached the note and read to himself.

Stan ran for it the moment he heard, "DAMN YOU (Y/N)!"