Hidden Desires | Jaehyun x Renjun

Chapter 8

Renjun's Pov

I felt exhausted from everything that happened today. Hyuck acted so differently from how he usually is. He seemed more sentimental. Was he hiding about his personal problems all along while I thought he was having fun with Mark?

Mark is a nice guy from all I know. I may have barely talked to him but even from those little talks, I could tell he liked Hyuck a lot and will keep him happy. I thought they could keep their relationship stable even if they were so popular but you never know.

I always did try to know how their relationship was whenever we both hung out, yet I didn't realize how much Hyuck was suffering alone. I'm such a bad friend.

I plopped on my bed, the usual fan letters with me. My mind is in a mess, I can't process any of the stuff that happened today. So for a bit I'll forget about everything else.

I opened the first letter.

"Hi Renjunnie, I just saw the news about your collab, I'm so excited. I know the producers Wendy and Woozi will give you an amazing song. I really can't wait to see you on stage again Renjunnie.

Good luck for your new song."

I'm glad to see my fans are as excited as me for the collab.

Quickly I opened the next letter.

"I saw you passing by J Entertainment, you looked so cute in your yellow hoodie.

You may not know me, but I am your biggest fan, it's true.

Do you realize, that your face smiling widely like right now is cute too"

My smile faded as soon as I read the last line.

I read it again in case I misread it before, but no that's exactly what's written. I turned the page to see any indication of it being a joke, but there was none, no name, nothing. I looked out my window and was relieved to see it was closed. But who the hell wrote something like this. Next time I'll have to warn Kai to not receive any letters without any names.

I didn't want to think about it so I quickly went to sleep.

I don't know what's in the air today that has happened to infect Hyuck with such happiness. He's smiling the moment I saw him in the morning.

He looks much better than the miserable state he was in last night. I'm glad even though I don't know what could've caused this, but him looking happy relieves me.

And although I'm not sure what he meant by those words from last night, I'm just glad to see him being himself again.

I'm finally learning the dance right since Hyuck doesn't look mad. I'm very determined to make this collab a success. After all, I'm working with so many talented people, I don't wanna let them down.

After practicing for two hours straight, we took a ten minute break. I sat against the wall as I was panting from too much practice.

And though it was breaktime, Hyuck still wouldn't stop teaching me how every move should be executed. It's a good thing he's paying so much attention to me but why do I feel like he's actually only paying attention to me.

I get that my improvement must be giving him some hope in me. But.. I noticed many times Hyunjin and Felix making mistakes and he never uttered a word to them. This feels kinda unfair, if he can scold me so easily then why did he never scolded them? So what if we are best friends, as the dance mentor he should treat everyone equally, why am I the only one who went through his harsh criticism, but they weren't told anything.

Does Hyuck secretly hate me?

It's a stupid thought because if he did then we wouldn't even be friends in the first place. He wouldn't be near me, and we wouldn't be going out to have dinner together, but he does even if he has a boyfriend of three years. A complete hottie of a boyfriend that too.

Yet here we are stuck together like always, I don't know how it happens either. His boyfriend and him do make plans and time for each other but I feel like me and Hyuck spend more time together rather than the actual couple.

It's funny and weird, it's as if I'm hogging Hyuck all to myself but I always try to encourage Hyuck to keep his relationship on good terms with Mark.

He went away as Minghao called him over to talk about something. Minghao is a former dancer, he was also an idol like me, but he wanted to have his own company so he ended up being the Ceo of South Korea's biggest idol's company.

They were discussing something so seriously, Hyuck frowned as they kept talking. Looks like Minghao wasn't impressed with the choreo, I've heard him nitpicking a lot with his groups too. Maybe he's a perfectionist, though I wanna know what was wrong with our performance.

Hyuck came back with a gloomy expression.

"Okay guys! Seems like the dance lacks more things which should be added" "Since the dance is already too easy, we just need some moves that would highlight the concept more" "Renjun you need to.."

I don't understand why..

the dance needs to involve something like me getting on Hyunjin's back and the next moment Felix is pinching my cheeks while all they do is make hearts or bump fists. Why do I have to do the most tiring stuff?

So now with all new moves included we needed to do one final practice because next week is music video shooting.

Everything was going perfectly, but I was nervous about getting on Hyunjin's back, I jumped at the correct time but I lost my balance, so I fell along with Hyunjin.

"Are you guys okay?"

Minghao and Hyuck come running towards us.

"I'm fine, don't worry" Hyunjin said then they all looked at me concerningly.

"I don't think I'm fine," my body was too weak from continuous practice, my voice couldn't be much higher than a whisper.

Why me!?

a/n: okay so this guy waved a hi to my direction, I thought I should give a hi back cuz we are from the same class and I don't like ignoring people even if we are not close, turns out he was waving to the girls behind me and I'm like okay, but he didn't needed to look so confused like the guy made a face like 'who are you?'

I remembered this scene the whole day and I'm still internally laughing at it 😂