Vent/tw

Why..

....... I cant accept that he gone... that is Lexx account and he give it to Lexi.. I just can't he not gone he can't be gone!... he help me though so much.. he stop me from killing myself....he help me with a lot of shit most ppl cant handle... he cant be dead he just c..cant it's a lie... it have to be! Fuck fuck fuck!! WHAT DID  DO TO DESERVE THAT HE DID NOTHING DAMMIT WHY YOU HAVE TAKE HIM FROM ME FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!..... I don't know if I'll be on... after this  I don't know if I can eat or sleep... but I'll try for Lexx bc I know he want me to get better... Lexx I love you as a friend but I really do... your the 2st person that could handle my pain,trama and everyone well the 1st is my bf but I don't want Colton to see me like this.. I know Colton my bf but still he shouldn't have to deal with it... Just why Lexx... why you have stab... him huh!? ...