make you miss me • q. hughes

14

I've avoided him for a week and a half. Don't ask me how. I'm not even sure. My sort of faked schedule was down tight and I made sure Quinn and I were never anywhere near each other. Val saw the guys. Even went and played golf with them and the Hughes' dad. I didn't. Until tonight. It's my pre-birthday. Finch comes for his second week tomorrow, my actual birthday. But everyone wanted to go out to some bar to celebrate.

"Are you getting shit-faced tonight?" Trevor asks while pulling me into a very tight hug.

We pull away and I drop my voice. "Seeing as I'm spending the night before my birthday with Quinn, yeah."

"You probably want to celebrate a different way with him," he matches my volume but I still shush him with a smack to the chest.

Z steps away and Alex pulls me into a hug. We don't necessarily know each other the same way I know the other guys where we text nearly every day even if it's a quick hi. But that Never Have I Ever game got some pretty dark secrets out and he definitely has the right to hug me. Judging by the laugh, Jack squishes me further into the hug. His arms going around Alex. One big love fest of giggled-out "Happy birthday"'s.

They let go and walk into the bar, following Z and Val. It leaves me on the sidewalk with the one person I'd rather not be left alone with. Or with in general. He rubs his jaw with one hand. He's thinking, great. Fuck.

"I texted you the other day," he says.

I shrug. "My phone's been weird. Haven't been getting some texts."

"Where you been?"

"It's been hectic. Had a bunch of shit to do regarding my move before Birdy gets here."

"Oh," he nods. "Happy early birthday. I know you said you hate that phrase at one point but... You know."

I don't even remember ever saying that. It's true. He must have heard it from me. But, when? I don't remember. He did though. I need to drink.

* * * * *

We're tucked into a corner booth big enough to fit all of us. I'm really tucked, I mean I have my feet up on the seat and my arms are wrapped around them. I'm drunk and have first-row seats to some girl chatting up Quinn who went to go get me another round. He's all smiles for this girl. She touches his hand and his arm and it's so gentle. I'm so incapable of that. I raise my voice and I tug and I scratch.

Z ruffles my hair. He's been by my side the whole night. "You okay?"

"Uh-huh." I'm dazed watching this gorgeous blonde laugh at something Quinn says.

Memories of my senior year flood my brain. Overhearing some stupid hockey guys laugh about how hot I would be if I were blonde and not so fucking full of opinions. Said I should just, "Shut up and know my place."

And I let them put me there. Bleached my hair. Let them flirt with me and compliment my new hair. Not say everything I believed, even when others were straight-up wrong. Then, let them compliment how chill and easy-going I was.

Jack and Val are quietly arguing on my other side. Ultimately though, Val's the one who gets to go back to a normal volume while Jack stops talking. "I'd like to make a toast."

"This'll be good," Z comments. I'm still staring at Quinn. Trevor puts an arm around my shoulders.

V clears her throat and stands on the bench on her knees, though with the drinking it's a bit difficult for her and she uses my head to balance herself. "Guys, this is my fifth time celebrating Scout Schuyler's birth. What a fucking blessing her birth was, right? I mean, come on."

Quinn glances back to the table. Does a double take at Val. He leans in to say something to the blonde. She smiles and nods. They both start walking over. I'm going to be sick.

"Now, she doesn't always show it but Scouter is the most loving, loyal, and caring person maybe ever." Val pauses. Quinn and the blonde are right at the table now, watching the drunk speech. Val's tone shifts from bubbly to practically dripping in venom. "Anyone who decides that there's someone better to have on their arm, friend, or more, than Schuy is full of shit. Lying to themselves.

"Any person who has the chance to spend time with her and chooses someone else is insane. I never want to leave this bitch's side. She can do it all and she's only going to get better each birthday. So, here's to one of those. Right? Right?!" She collapses back down into the seat and her arm is around my shoulder. Cheers from the guys erupt, getting us stares from all over the bar. I can't help the laugh that comes when both Trevor and Val try to hug me.

Except when they're done, I have to see Quinn. The gorgeous blonde laughing and clapping quietly compared to the guys. Am I not his type? Was I filling a void for the summer 'cause I was convenient? Not that I care. He was only convenient for me. A way to get my frustration with him out.

"Did you get my drink?" I ask. My voice cracks halfway through. Fucking embarrassing.

He very clearly says "Fuck." under his breath. Looks around for a second and slides his drink over. It's stupid to feel upset at something so unimportant. But, I do. Something lodges in my throat as Trevor reaches over and puts the cup right in front of me. Everyone at the table is all smiles but me. The one who should be all smiles. How fucking cruel is that?

* * * * *

I'm squeezed in the backseat between Jack and Trevor. Alex is driving. Val's passenger. Quinn's on the other side of Trevor. My brain is replaying the worst parts of the night. Marinating in the terrible feeling of not being chosen. On my birthday.

He probably left with that girl's number in his phone. When he could have just left knowing he could have me.

"Hey, hey," Jack whispers. "Are you okay?"

There's tears. Great. I'm drunk and crying like a fucking baby over this. "Yeah, J, I'm good."

It's a struggle to get his arm out from between us and around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. It's secure. It's nice. It's not the arm I want around me. Not the Hughes brother I want. But that's the one I'm crying over so clearly that's not happening. I sniffle and then a full-on sob breaks out of me. Val looks over her shoulder and then leans forward to raise the volume even louder than it already was.

I can feel that burn of a stare. Barely hear him ask something with Scout standing out in it. Trevor responds and I hear something about Vancouver and brothers. At least he got a good lie out this time. The burning doesn't go away though. Jack tries his best to whisper comfort to me through the music and sobs. I wanted to tear Quinn apart. Yet here he is, leaving me in pieces.

*************
a/n
i am truly sorry they have to be a mess but sometimes you have to cry drunk on your birthday before your love life can get cleaned up!