make you miss me • q. hughes

15

5 AM. I swing my legs over the side of the bed. Ready for the run before even getting dressed. Instead of the usual floor, Trevor and Jack are fast asleep with pillows and blankets all around. My brows furrow before shooting right up. Blonde with gentle hands. A forgotten drink. Sobbing like a little bitch in Jack's arms. Fuck me.

Jack stirs and his eyes open for a few seconds before closing again. Practically into his pillow, he says, "Happy birthday, Scouter."

* * * * *

"Happy birthday!" Finch salutes me before rushing forward and picking me up in a hug. I swear every time I see him gets taller.

I laugh despite the hollow feeling in my chest. "Thanks, dumbass."

He sets me on the counter and then turns to start ransacking the fridge. "Yeah, so, I picked up a stray."

"What?" I ask. Luke walks in and I sigh in relief. But then Atticus walks in next. And I want to die.

Jem, I could handle. He's too soft. He takes my word. It's a side effect of being the only sister and him being the oldest brother. There are years between us. Finch can't read me either. Atticus, however, we were in high school together. There's a year and a half between us. If you ask me he was the accident, but Mom claims we both were.

Whatever it is, Atticus can read me like there's no tomorrow. One look at me and he's frowning more than his usual bitch face is. I feel like a fish with a bunch of sharks swimming around. Two sharks. Quinn and Atticus. Fuck. This is bad.

"Atter!" I fake enthusiasm. I love him. Don't love that he's here today of all days.

He squints at me, walking over to my spot on the counter. "Happy birthday, JL."

"Thanks. What'd you get me?"

"Did I hear Atticus?" Val shouts, clearly running down the hall from her room. She gets into the kitchen and immediately jumps into Atticus's arms. She's the only one to ever get away with initiating a hug with him.

While he's distracted, I hop off the counter. Luke messes my hair up as I walk past him. Once past him I practically sprint upstairs and to my room. Z startles awake while I lock the door. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Fuck!" I exclaim, collapsing on my bed that Jack took over after I left.

He grunts. "Good morning."

"Sorry."

"'s all good."

"What's up?" Z's voice is groggy. He's rubbing his eyes as he gets up and joins us on the bed. It's like some weird alternate-reality sleepover gossip session.

"My brother's here."

Jack sits up and looks at me. More than a normal person would look at someone. "We knew that was happening, didn't we?"

"No. Yes. Okay, Finch is here but he brought one of the others. Atticus."

"The one who's supposed to be like basically your twin?" Trevor asks, slightly laughing. His face falls. "Shit, you don't think he'll find out about... While you're here?"

"What's that?" Jack frowns. "What's the space? The thing in the car last night?"

I hum. Thinking. "I mean... That's part of it."

"What is it part of?"

Trevor and I look at each other. I shrug. He shakes his head. I put a hand out in a little "What?" or in this case more of a "Why?" motion. Z tugs at his collar like a fucking cartoon character. I roll my eyes and turn back to Jack.

"I've kind of had a little bit of a fling this summer that, um, you kind of witnessed what I'm thinking will be the end of it," I explain.

"With who?" Jack's eyes widen and he looks from me to Trevor. "You two?"

We both string out variations of rejecting that idea. Then start a very overlapping argument on why either of us is so opposed to the idea. Jack snaps a couple of times, getting us reigned in. This is the most hectic birthday I've ever had and it's like ten in the morning.

"With who?"

"I..."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

We all freeze, eyes wide.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Who is it?" Trevor calls out.

Finch's voice answers, "Me and Moose."

"We're a bit busy in here!"

The door shakes, lock doin' its job. "Why are you, Jack, and my sister busy behind a locked door?"

"We're busy," I say, cutting off Trevor because I don't trust his track record.

"Why--"

"Bye!"

We wait a few moments. Luckily, they walk loudly and it's clear they gave up after like thirty seconds. Amateurs. Jack looks at me expectantly. A little kid losing his patience in line.

"This doesn't leave this room," I warn. "You, Trevor, and Val are the only ones who know shit. I'm only telling you because you let me cry into your shirt last night."

"Okay, scout's honor."

Trevor groans and I have to agree. That was bad.

"Quinn," I mumble.

Jack is up and off the bed in an instant. He looks a little silly. One leg of his sweatpants is pushed up to his knee and he's missing a sock on the opposite foot from that. His hair's a complete mess still. Not to mention the way his jaw dropped as he jumps just barely off the floor a few times. Oh my god. It cannot be that surprising. Trevor is in an absolute fit of laughter, hugging a pillow to stay grounded.

"Listen, I can explain," I rush out.

He shakes his head. "Wha-- When? The jealous jokes? Schuy, you were crying over Quinn last night?" His face falls. Jack's jaw sets and it reminds me of Quinn whenever he gets pissed off at me. "You were crying that hard over Quinn?"

"I can explain."

"Explain before I go give him a black eye."

"Woah!" I yell. My turn to be shocked. Trevor just laughs even harder.

Jack shakes his head. "Explain."

"Listen, it started with like a weird situation of taking out frustration for each other on each other and I guess at some point it stopped being that for me. I don't know suddenly I was way too invested in him and stupid fucking scar above his ear and--" I sigh. "I don't know. It got way more for me and it didn't for him. So, I'm out. I'm done. It's on me that I got hurt."

"He didn't know you had any feelings?"

"I didn't really know until that night we played Never Have I Ever."

"Okay."

"Nobody can know."

He nods.

Trevor finally stops laughing. "Are there any plans regarding breakfast yet?"

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a/n
my theory is mrs ellen hughes raised her boys to be respectful to a point where they'd tell each other off for being dumbasses (but i also doubt it) ((bc men and even worse brothers))