Chapter 1

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Thoughts

Writing in journal

It was a dark cloudy day, the most common weather found in the U.K. There is laughter, crying, and the whistle of steam trains going to and from Kingscross  train station on the 1st September 1972. There was two types of people that day, one group knowing that there was two whilst the other group of people didn't, these groups where known as wizards and muggles. 

Regulus's pov 

The day started out as normal parents arguing, but that's what happens when you marry your cousin. My brother, Sirius, was playing some muggle vinyl on the record player in his room on full blast, I wished I had the guts to do that but my parents don't want another family disappointment, it's been worse since Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor and not Slytherin they've been arguing a lot more than normal, I think they are just trying to blame someone on how Sirius ended up in a different house ( I think they are also trying to marry him of to a cousin to try and change it). 

Today is my first day at Hogwarts which I'm excited about, it means that I can finally get out of this shit hole for most of the year, I'm hoping that I can just go there and be myself and by being myself I mean my true self as a guy and not be dead named by my family constantly (besides Sirius). Oh yeah I've not mentioned it before anyway. Hi I'm Regulus Black, I'm trans (FtM), nobody knows (besides Sirius) of course, otherwise that would cause another riff in the family and a bigger hole than what it is now too.  I would love to tell more people but in a way I'm scared, scared of it getting back to my parents, scared of me getting disowned or worse tortured and handed over to 'you know who'. As much as that sounds ridiculous and over exaggerating my family would do that, they are bat shit crazy probably due to all of the incest that's happened over the years/decades/centuries or how ever long that has been happening, god I wished there wasn't any chance they had as much control over me as they do, maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought if I got put into Gryffindor or just disowned for being a family disappointment, hell even the dark lord killing me looks very pleasing, definitely more pleasing then getting married off to a cousin.

*Knock knock*

I looked over at the time *7:50 AM*

 'Shit!! how could I have missed the time' 

I quickly shook my head getting rid of my thoughts. Looking over at the door I called out to see who it was, whilst shoving my journal and refillable quill into a carry on for the train.

"Reg, it's me Sirius, was just seeing if you've got everything since we're leaving in a few min."

"Oh yeah, I'm coming out now give me a sec!"

"Alright well I'll be downstairs by the fireplace, the birth givers have left already to do something, not sure what because they were boring the fuck out of me."

I could already see the shrug with the deadpan/bored expression behind the door, next came the retreating footsteps stomping against the wooden floors no doubt he's wearing the dr martins that he got last year wen he started hanging around with James Potter and the rest (pretty sure one of them is a werewolf).

The next ten minutes away from the safety of my room was absolutely treacherous, now don't get me wrong I absolutely love my brother considering he makes living with the family much more easier and he doesn't dead name me but bloody hell he can talk for hours, especially about this Remus guy (the one that I think is a werewolf) who seems like the smartest out of all of them, probably would get along with him if I'm being honest. If I had the chance to talk I'd probably tease Sirius about his very obvious gay crush on Remus, but between him non stop  talking and the train finally pulling up to platform 9 3/4, I had no chance.

I finally found an empty compartment, which is the best thing for me, it means that I can read in peace, my current read for this long journey is the picture of Dorian Gray by the Oscar Wilde it's a gothic/philosophical fiction that I love so far. I curled up on the seats looking at the rain running down the window, my hot breath steaming up the cold glass, I brushed my jumper covered hand over the condensation and stared out at the world passing by. My book lying forgotten in my lap for awhile before I picked it up and started where I left off, it wasn't long until there was a knock on the compartment door.

"Anything off the trolley lovey?" questioned a middle aged woman, with the snack trolley in the aisle.

"Yes please! could I take two chocolate frogs and some every flavour beans please," I replied

I handed her the galleons and took my snacks, wolfing them down considering I was starving having not eating in a few days. My book laid on the space next to me waiting to be picked up once again waiting to be read and completed. I continued to eat my flavoured beans whilst picking it up once again, reading and listening to the rain patter against the window once again, having a calming journey before reaching my destination that could be a new beginning or the end of me. 

Watching the world go by and finishing my novel in the first hour and a half of a five hour journey was a new insight to what I have missed, between my parents arguing, my brother being named the family disappointment to me overthinking about my transition. I've missed a lot and now I don't have to be worried as much as I was, I can now take everything and live as much as I can.

The rain drizzling down, pattering against the window was like a lullaby, lulling me to sleep with a small smile on my face for the remainder of the journey to Hogwarts. I am finally free! 





Hi, it's the author and I was hoping that you could vote and comment. It's my first time writing in awhile so if you could give me recommendations on what I should change that would be great great, thank you :)

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 17, 2023 ⏰

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