THE UNEXPECTED

29

"Alright, let's take a break." We'd been walking for a while now, stopping and searching for supplies every so often but the more and more time I had left to my own thoughts, the more I became swept up in them. I tried goddamn so hard to be strong, strong for Ellie and to be there for her in times of need but I was slowly starting to deteriorate. My mind was constantly else where, every time we'd stop to catch a breath I'd be back in that cage, staring at the human remains on the table and following David's beady eyes wherever they looked.

"The fight is what excites me the most."

Shaking my head, I tried to rid his voice from my thoughts and I tried not to think about any past women or girls who weren't as lucky as we were to escape. It was clear as day that Ellie and I weren't his first victims but we were definitely his last and that was something at least. But David isn't the only man like that, there are plenty more snatching up vulnerable girls and it made me nauseous - bile rising in the lower pits of my stomach. I need to be-

Before I could even finish my train of thoughts I was keeling over and vomiting the food Joel had just given me. It wasn't much but now my stomach would be empty and rumbling for something else to eat.

Hands steadied my shoulders which I immediately shook off,

"Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me..." The rational part of my brain knew that it was Joel and that he was only trying to help me but the other part of me was still reeling in the trauma from Silver Lake. My defence mechanisms were at an all time high and any unexpected touch had me flinching and backing away.

"Two pretty girls on their knees...for me."

Tears sprung from my eyes as I tried to rid the horrible taste of vomit from my mouth, my hands shaking as I moved my hair from my face. I was gagging and retching, anything just to get it all out. Fuck.

"Leave me alone." I say, sobbing as David's voice continued to taunt me. Even from the grave he was still messing with me, was this some sort of sick joke?

"What's wrong with her?" I hear Ellie's muffled voice, she's also crying now as she hiccups between sentences. Did I do this?

"She's...she's," Joel then speaks but it's also muffled, "I don't know, kid." But Joel did know, he knew a trauma response when he saw one. He experienced similar things when his Sarah died - his heart would palpate unnaturally and he would dissociate, sometimes feeling guilt and nausea at all of the opportunities he didn't do to save his daughter. It was a relentless cycle and his heart broke to see Emily experiencing something of the sort.

"Well how do we stop it!?" Ellie seemed panicked now, watching the scene play out. The woman she saw to be her mum on her hands and knees seemingly out of nowhere as she threw up and mumbled to herself. Did Ellie not do enough to be there for her? They'd been through the same thing and she'd been nothing but supportive while Ellie moped and Emily put up a front.

"I-I.." Joel didn't know, usually for himself he just dealt with it until the pain passed naturally. He didn't do anything in particular to help himself, only revelling in the trauma until the episode stopped. He knew it wasn't healthy and he knew he should've spoken to someone about it - anyone really, Tommy, Tess...Emily.

"Fuck this." Ellie then moved from Joel's side, a frown evident in her features as she crawled forward to the distressed Emily, "Mom, snap out of it! You gotta be okay, you're strong and you're so determined. Just...just...please, mom." It was then that Ellie really did realise what she'd just called Emily, it was a spur of the moment at Silver Lake but this time she really meant it. Emily and Joel were parents she never had and she was forever indebted to them.

It was like something snapped within me, the coil finally withering as I heard Ellie's words. My heart clenched as she spoke of me as her mother, this girl had touched me like no other and it was safe to say that I was attached. And I could tell Joel was too, my eyes glanced up briefly to see him already watching us. His usual brooding stare was no longer and his eyes softened, a ghost of a smile on his face as he saw my arms wrap around the teen.

"Come here, sweet girl." Ellie didn't even think twice before welcoming my embrace, her arms were encased around my torso as I tucked her head into my chest lovingly. "Thank you." I breathed out, my heart rate slowing down massively. Joel then met my glance, worry soon leaving his features as I smiled reassuringly at him, "I'll be okay." I say to the both of them.

"Joel, get your ass down here." Ellie so badly wanted to call him Dad but the words just couldn't form, she knew all too well of his trauma surrounding fatherhood and didn't want to resurface any bad thoughts or feelings. She couldn't be selfish like that, not to the man who has saved her life a million times over. So for now, she bit her tongue until the time was right.

"She's right, get your old ass down here." Joel rolled his eyes playfully before kneeling down and laying his long and strong arms around his two girls. Warmth emitted in his chest as they leaned into his touch, and it was now that all felt complete. He finally had purpose again - he had to protect his women and he would do so even if things went south and they hated him. Joel was indebted to them, they made him feel again.