I WANNA BE SAVED, neteyam

Ch 9: Best in Comfort

Going back to camp was nerve wracking. Ayatney didn't know what Jake and Neytiri were thinking— Hell, she didn't even know if they were thinking at all.

She had rode with Neteyam on his ikran, remembering at how he was staring at her worriedly after they had gathered in the forest.

Ayatney had tried avoiding riding with him, but Tuk and Kiri had taken up the space with Neytiri, and she definitely didn't want to sit with Jake.

He was her only option left, and she hated that.

Most of the clan was asleep by the time they had returned. Everyone was exhausted with what had just went down on the Battle Field. Neytiri had guided Kiri and Tuk back to their tent, afraid to let them out of her sight.

Ayatney got off of Neteyam's ikran only to get stopped by Jake, Lo'ak standing right behind him. This is what she feared, another lecture from the Olo'eyktan himself.

She rubbed her arm, the dried mud coming off in flakes. Her shoulder still ached from the false Na'vi striking her down, jaw bruised from the punch she had received from Quaritch. Her canines had broken the soft tissue inside her mouth which left a stinging sensation that didn't help at all.

"Neteyam, Lo'ak—" The two looked up to their father, "Go to bed."

"Dad—" Neteyam started, worried that his father was going to yell at Ayatney again. "Now Neteyam, both of you."

It was an order, the tone of his voice not phasing any of the three.

"Yes sir." Lo'ak turned to leave first, looking back after he had already walked a few feet away. But Neteyam hesitated, clearly not wanting to leave Ayatney alone. Especially after what had happened.

Not wanting him to get in trouble, Ayatney shot him a look. "Go Neteyam. I'll be fine."

He only pursed his lips, not believing her but turning to go anyways. If he didn't want her to get into more trouble he'll just have to do as she says.

Jake had watched as his sons disappeared before turning back to Ayatney. She didn't dare to look him in the eyes, scared of seeing such familiar anger and disappointment.

As if she was trying to hide herself from his gaze, she curled her shoulders in. Arms hugging her tired body, waiting for her punishment to come.

"Why were you guys out there?" He started off, the calm before the storm she supposed.

"We didn't want to stay inside the camp." Ayatney said, trying to find the right answers. "I had thought that since today was nice we could go out and get some fresh air..." she trailed off, looking up briefly to catch a glimpse of his face.

He definitely didn't look happy.

"You were supposed to be here," he opened his arms, emphasizing the space they lived in. "In this cave where it is safe."

"Where they can be safe." He pointed to where his family had walked off towards their tent.

Ayatney nodded, she understood where he was coming from, being a father definitely was not easy. Being the oldest, she took care of the other orphans as if they were her own too.

So being that his children could have potentially gotten hurt or even worse, set him off completely.

But still, blaming her for what had happened wasn't fair. It was completely unexpected. If she had knew that their enemy from a long time ago had come back to life and was in that forest, then of course she wouldn't have taken a any of them there.

She just didn't get it.

Why was she the only one getting in trouble?

Ayatney was angry. Yes she was one of the oldest and yes she had responsibilities, but everything didn't have to fall on her. She wasn't even his kid.

"Sir, I think I did well in that situation—" she was cut off.

" You think— If you say you think you did well, then what is your best?"

Silence engulfed the both of them, she wasn't sure what to even say. All she knew was that she did what she could out there. Basically sacrificing herself for the sake of his kids.

Wasn't that enough?

Ayatney felt her eyes sting, she didn't want to cry. Not in front of Jake. Looking down at her hands, she clenched them. Her dirty nails digging into her palm, creating white crescents when she unclenched.

The young Na'vi girl was mentally and physically exhausted.

He was asking too much from her and all she can do is try to do it and get his approval for her attempt. But that didn't mean she was going to give up.

If a body guard is what he wanted out of her, then she would become it. It was the least she could do after he had pulled her out of the fire that had killed her parents.

"I will do my best sir."

That option was way better then being put off to the side and forgotten.

Jake nodded his head, telling the girl to get some sleep. Of course, that was the thing she couldn't really do.

Nightmares haunted her in her sleep. The fire consuming her parents as they scream in pain, then a terrible outcome of Lo'ak, Kiri and Tuk getting murdered right in front of her eyes. Their body matter coating her skin as the demons laugh in her face.

Ayatney had given up on sleep. Waiting for the sun to rise as she sat in the dark, consumed by her thoughts as she fiddled with her deceased father's beaded necklace.

Her mother had made it for him as a courting gift and he held great pride in wearing it.

Her father would tell her stories of how her mother would court him. Constantly making him gifts with her own hands and wooing him over with songs and poems.

Overall, her mother was one for romance.

Ayatney on the other hand, couldn't really imagine herself in that situation. Courting or being courted.

Love was a weird concept. Two individuals finding great interest in each other, then bonding together in the best ways they can before they eventually die. It made you do weird things in desperation.

Would she ever experience it?

Ayatney honestly didn't know if she even wanted to.

Too complicated. She thinks.

Growing up, it was hard to receive love. Ayatney's parents were often hard on her ever since she had been in contact with the Olo'eyktan's children.

Always watch what you say— how you act.

They were always giving her warnings to not make any mistakes. And even if it wasn't her who initiated the situation, it'd only push them to be tougher.

Ayatney loved her parents to death, often thinking of the times where they did show that they cared and truly loved her for who she was. It was too bad that they had to leave so soon.

"Ayatney?"

A small voice next to her whispered, seeing that the girl was awake. It was one of the youngest who usually slept so close to her. He was seven, just like Tuk.

He had lost his parents during the chaos that ensued when they were fleeing Hometree. When he had regrouped with the clan, his parents were no where to be found.

"Yes?" Ayatney whispered back, pulling back from the loophole of her thoughts.

"Are you not tired?"

"I am."

"Then why won't you sleep?"

She didn't want to tell him of the things that plagued her in her sleep. Telling things like that to children would only scare them, and she didn't want to feel like he had to take care of her. So, she came up with the next best answer.

"I don't know."

A small hand pat her own gently before resting it on top. "It's okay not to know Ayatney.

With her free hand, she rubbed the child's head. Softly smiling when he held it there.

"Thank you, Yostim."