The Internship

Chapter Thirty Nine - 'Depression'

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains things that may be a sensitive topic for you. If it is, talk to someone trusted, or seek guidance online/over phone for help. Thanks.

*Tori - Point of View*

I snuck away from the kitchen and went to the washroom, locking myself in there. I looked in the mirror, debating if it was me, or them. Well, this has happened before, so me. I broke up my original parents, my aunt hated me, and now I had lost the Yogscast. A steady stream of tears rolled down my face as I felt myself get weak. I crumpled down on the ground, quietly crying on the floor as not to alarm anyone. It wasn't a long cry, with all the crying I had done today. I sat there motionless, well other than the occasional jerk for a while before a thought came to mind. Cut. I had done it when I was a teen, a little before my parents died, from the bullying, than a lot when they died. After that it was a regular thing, and sometimes my Aunt would even help. I felt a huge wave of sadness wash over me, to then soon disappear leaving me feeling nothing. No hurt, but no happy. Nothing. Except for one thought. Cut. I got up and looked around for something sharp that I could use, but it wasn't my bathroom. I couldn't use a razor, but maybe her has some scissors. I quietly dig around in his stuff until I come across some hair scissors. Am I really going to do this? Will it help? It will. Cut.

*Ross - Point of View*

Tori has been in the washroom for a while now, about half an hour. Is she okay? I get up and walk over to the door and listen. I hear Tori hiss and I knock on the door, worried.

"Tori, are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, but I have a headache and I am cold. Can you grab me some Tylenol and a sweater?"

"Yeah, of course." I walk over to her stuff and dig out Smith's Cornerstone sweater and some pills. I walk over to the bathroom and knock on the door. Tori opens it and it is dark in there. I go to turn the light on but she stops me.

"My head hurts, I need it off. Can you get me a glass of water please."

"Oh, yes." I pass her the sweater and pills and go off to the kitchen to retrieve the water.

"Is she okay?" Sjin asks, still cooking.

"Yeah, she is cold and has a headache."

"Poor thing." He grabs me a cup and fills it, and I thank him. I go back to the washroom, and see Tori in the dark with the sweater on. She takes the water and drinks it, but I didn't see her take the pills.

"Did you take the medication?" She looks at me nervously before answering.

"Yes." I nod and think I must have missed it, or she put the pills in her mouth before I got there. I grab her hand and walk her into the living room, handing her another water. "Thanks." Tori says harshly, and I just blame it on her headache. She walks over to the chair by her bag, away from everyone. She pulls out her sketchbook and opens it, and begins to doodle. I sigh and worry about her. If she is still like this tomorrow I will see if anything is wrong, because she might just blame it on the headache if I ask today.

*Tori - Point of View*

I sit in the chair and draw, but it isn't happy stuff like before. It is dark, detailed, and overall saddening. It was a girl alone in the rain. When I don't know what to draw, or I feel a little sign of emotion I squeeze my forearm to feel another wave of pain. I can feel the sweater sticking onto my skin from the blood, and I realise that this is Alex's. I should wash it before I return it. I look over to Ross who is staring at me, looking concerned. I smile at him and he smiles back. Good thing he can't read my real smile from my fake smile like Alex and Chris.