ALWAYS // NAMGI

Chapter-1

Those hands, those rough and cruel hands came back crawling. He could feel them everywhere, all over his body, all over his soul, hurting him, torturing him, polluting him. He shouted, fought back, tried his best to get away from that harsh grip.. but later he gave up. He submitted and just lied there, letting them have their way with him like a doll. He let them strip his soul from his body all over again.

He let them..

He was at the fault.

He didn't fight back enough.

He let them do this to him.

He gave up.

He deserved it.

*oon..* *namjoon* *NAMJOON WAKE UP!*

Namjoon snapped his eyes open. It was just a dream. It was a dream. They're not here anymore. They can't hurt him.

They-

"Namjoon!"

There was his best friend, right by his side as always, looking so afraid and devastated and.....helpless?

"Joonie! Are you with me? Please breathe for me joonie. Look here.. look in my eyes ok? It's fine. You're safe. You're with me joonie. See, I'm here. Don't cry please!" Hoseok was holding him gently yet firmly, trying to bring him back to reality.

Namjoon didn't realise he was crying until Hoseok pointed out. He rushed his hands to wipe away the tears covering his face as fast as he could. No! How dare he cry! He promised himself he would never let anyone witness his weak, pathetic self. He should go through this pain alone and no one deserved to feel even a bit of the misery his feels everyday. Especially Hoseok. He had always been there for him. He supported namjoon when no one else did. He was the most special and important person for him. His best friend. His Hobi.

"H- Hobi.." Namjoon said trying his best to keep his voice steady.

"Oh my god Joonie!" Hoseok cried hugging the fragile boy in his arms as if trying to hide him from the entire world.

"I was so scared! You were screaming and crying and I couldn't do anything! I was feeling so helpless joonie! I hate not being able to help you so much!" Hoseok was now a sobbing mess on Namjoon's shoulder.

He hated this. He hated himself so much for making his precious friend go through all this. He hated making Hoseok suffer alongside him again and again.

"I'm alright! It was just a bad dream. You know how I tend to make fuss about little things. Please don't worry about me so much Hobi. I'm not worth it.."

"You are Joon! You're worth so much more than you think! You deserve all the happiness out there. What you don't deserve is going through this pain alone. I'm so sorry joonie! I'm so sorry I was not there to help you at that time. I can't ever forgive myself for it! But please..just once, let me help you. Please let me in. I swear I would do anything for you to be happy again. I would Kill and I would Die just to get that old Namjoon back. J..just once! Let me help you please.."

"Hobi...." He didn't knew what else he should say. What else could he say? Namjoon wrapped his arms around Hoseok weakly. So much chaos in his head, his urge to push away Hoseok so he doesn't accidentally hurt his best friend, the temptation to just cry his heart out in Hobi's warm embrace, the guilt, the fear, the regret but all he could say was... "Thank you Hobi...Thank you so much for caring for me. And I'm sorry I made you so worried. I promise you I'll never ever give you another chance to worry about me. I'm gonna try my best for you and for myself. You don't know how much I've healed just by you being by my side and I appreciate you the most. But you gotta stop worrying about me so much. You don't realise it but I've been holding you back from doing so much in you life. You missed out on so much fun things just because of me. I'm going to be ok.. I promise. But promise me you're going to stop feeling guilty over something you had no control over. You're gonna enjoy your life like a normal person, not like someone with a crazy best friend. You promise me?"

The tears that just dried up started pooling around Hoseok's eyes again. This situation was way too familiar for him. Instead of him comforting namjoon it ended up with him being comforted. He was always on the recieving side. He wanted to help his best friend and maybe....prove his worth to him. But Joon just pushed him away...again. This is going to end the same way it always does. By Hoseok pretending that Namjoon has convinced him. He pulled away with a false smile on his face and said what he always does.." Just remember I'm always here for you, whenever you need me" but you never do.

"You're gonna be late for class because of me again! You get going. I'll just take a quick shower and be there in 5" Namjoon tried to say this as cheerfully as he could.

"If I don't see your ass in the classroom in 5 minutes I'm going to file a missing complaint and you know I'm not joking." Namjoon faked a laughter and Hoseok went away for the class. He stared at his best friend's bed across the room. The begining of the year flashed to his mind. The time Namjoon and Hobi decided to go to college together. They got assigned different rooms in the Hostel. The way Hobi threw a fit at the reception and literally forced the staff to assign them the same room. Namjoon smiled softly remembering these small happy moments in his life thanks to Hoseok. "Thank you so much Hobi..for everything"

After taking a shower Namjoon threw in a loose hoodie over his head and a random pair of jeans. Oh he was so dead. He was late again and it's not the teacher he was afraid of. Hoseok would literally be on his way to break in the room. He grabbed his books and ran towards the main campus at the full speed. Almost there.. Hobi won't kill me!..Maybe. Suddenly he collided with something.. someone and the next thing he knew he was in the floor. His books lying all around him.

"I.. I'm so sorry! I was in a bit of hurry!" He blabbered out a quick apology even though he was the one on the floor. The other person seemed to be just fine. "I'm sorry agai-" Namjoon looked up at the person he collided with. He was.... breathtaking. He had black soft hair styled neatly but some of the strands managed to escape falling over his face complimenting his beautiful features. His piercing eyes looked like he was peeking into his soul, exposing all the dark secrets he'd never let anyone know. His perfect lips pressed into a straight line. He was expressionless but his aura spoke so loudly. Namjoon was afraid of this man.. he was so scared but he was... mesmerized.

"Stare at me for one more second and you'll loose those pretty eyes of yours" the man said so calmly like he didn't just told someone he's going to gauge their eyes out.

The realisation hit Namjoon. Oh god! He was so embarrassed! Blush crept it's way to his cheeks. He collected his books, whispering another quick apology and dashing towards his class at the speed of light.

What a weird person....