Oneshots on AsfiYa

The Letter

"Kaisi Mohabbat? Ek insaan se attraction or infatuation ka yeh Matlab nahi ki aap uss shaqs se shaadi karle."

She thought about the heart wrecking words that she had said to the person she was madly in love with. The tears weren't stopping and she felt ashamed when she realised that she was hurting the one man who made her feel safe in all these years, the one man who loved her with all his heart.

She lay on her bed, trying to sleep, but all she ended up doing was tossing and turning from one side to another and cursing herself for whatever she had said to Asfandyar. She couldn't sleep the whole night, but those 7-8 hours of unending thoughts, definitely gave her more clarity about how she wanted to handle the situation in front of her. At around 7 am, she got out of her bed and freshened up. She was determined to do whatever she had decided.

She sat at her study table with a pen and paper and started writing.

Dear Dr. Asfandyar,

I'm writing this letter to you because I don't think I'd ever be able to gather the courage to tell you whatever I'm writing in this letter, in person.

When we were talking yesterday, you asked me why I couldn't marry you and I refused to give you an explanation then, but today, I feel like the least I could do for you, is give you an explanation and tell you my story, myself.

I was born and brought up in Karachi. At home, It was my parents, my older brother Rehan bhai, his wife and my nephew, Arham. My family was very conservative. Especially Abbi. He didn't allow the ladies in the house to go out alone. We weren't allowed to watch TV, use make-up or even buy clothes for ourselves. Abbi was very dominating and everyone at home was scared of him. He was also very controlling when it came to money matters. I was very close to my mother. She was my only support. I was close to my brother too, but neither of them were strong enough to stand up against my father. Also, bhai became distant after he got married. I didn't have a good relationship with my bhabhi. She was always on the lookout for an opportunity to tarnish my image in the family. One day, I forced Ammi to accompany me to a friends house because I wanted to get some notes from her. She was reluctant, but she came along. When Abbi got back home that day, he was furious at her. Even though I tried to tell him that I was the one who forced Ammi to come with me, he paid no attention to me. He slapped her so hard that she fell on the ground and her head hit the corner of the bed. Within seconds, she was bleeding profusely and before we could process what had happened, she stopped breathing. The minute Abbi recognised that she was no more, he refused to take any responsibility for whatever happened, and blamed her instead. Basically, When I was 16 years old, I was witness to my father killing my mother. Even today, I hold myself responsible for her death, because if I hadn't forced her to accompany me that day, she would be alive.

After Ammi's passing, the environment at home became way worse. I started to feel extremely neglected and missed my mother immensely, because she was my only support in this hostile home.

Just then, I met a boy who convinced me in no time that he would marry me and give me the life that I dreamt of, while living inside that hostile home. His promises and confessions of love worked like medicine on the wounds that I didn't even know I had. He convinced me to run away from home and marry him. I gave in easily. I left home and went to his house because he told me that his parents would be there to get us married the same day.

When we reached his house though, no one was there. It was just us. Even though I was too naive back then, to understand what his intentions were, I felt a weird feeling in my body and decided to run away from that apartment of his. Just as I managed to open the locked door of his apartment and run for my life, I bumped into another man, who saved me from the traps of that monster and later dropped a shameless, characterless and impure girl like me, back home. I don't know if you remember, but that benevolent, empathetic and good-willed man was you, Dr Asfandyar and I'd be forever grateful to you, for saving me that day. It was one of the many turning points in my life.