006|FUCKED UP GORL

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Y/n's Point of view

I watched Noel come up to the lever as the Karnak started to speak to the audience


"Noel Gruber, born March 5th, Pisces: sign of Passion. Favorite ride: the Ferris wheel. Very early on in Noel's life... his mother realized two things." Noel posed gay-ly

"The second was his penchant for all things nihilistic. While other children acted out Harry Potter, Noel acted out French New Wave Cinema. In Grade seven... During the Saint Cassian Christmas Nativity pageant, Noel was suspended for suddenly breaking into this excerpt from "Waiting for Godot"." The Karnak said before the curtain turned into a screen and the video where me and noel were in the nativity pageant broke out. I laughed slightly. Noels mom was so mad when we both got suspended. We had the best week when we were suspended together

"There is no room at this Inn, for it is Christmas... Shall we hang ourselves?" A young noel said dressed as Joseph 

"I hear it gives you an erection." Little me giggled in an odd accent.

I remember when we planned this out the night before.

"Then we must hang ourselves ...immediately" young  Noel said dramatically

"Or we could just go to the manger, Joseph." A younger Constance said nervously 

The memory faded out and I still smiled looking at Noel

"Aspiring Iconoclast, enfant terrible...Noel Gruber, the most romantic boy in town." Karnak said


"I've seen the movie the Blue Angel about a billion and one times.... If there is
something better on this earth than Marlene Dietrich playing Lola Lola

 I don't even want to hear about it.... I tried to go as her every year for Halloween—I always chickened out... And I'd go as something like C3P-O...but in my heart, I was Lola Lola, dressed up as C3P-O... that was always my Halloween costume's subtext. Mom tells me I've got to try to blend in, so I tried really hard to dial it back... I had to...we live in a town where every year on July 11th when Seven Eleven gives out free Slurpees it's like seriously the major cultural event of the year.... I'm not even making a joke right now. It's like, a Slurpee Woodstock. I was born in the wrong town, the wrong country, the wrong era! I wanted tofeel, goddamn it. I wanted bad love. I wanted a man that would drive me to drink. I craved dissipation. I wanted to wake up in an alleyway in my own vomit, missing teeth. I wanted to drink myself to death on the cup of life... "Anyone who hasn't experienced the ecstasy of betrayal knows nothing about ecstasy at all." Jean Genet. I was a sexual provocateur and a novelist, who never wrote a novel...or had sex...." Noel said sadly

"What's that?" Noel scoffed as a picture of him in his taco bell uniform appeared on screen

"I was hoping you could tell me." Karnak said

"No!" Noel replied anxiously

"I worked at the Taco Bell, in the food court of the Mega Mall just outside Uranium CityI had to work somewhere, we had no money, I was saving up to move to France." Noel said quietly


"They named a meal after your passing, "The Noel Gruber Hungry Hombre Meal"." Karnak said as noel gasped 

"They catered your funeral for free." Noel gasped again

" They even played Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" on the bagpipes." Noel gasped once more dramatically falling to the ground

"I only said I liked that song once. Ironically. A joke was my final song... All those
wasted hours in that horrible mall dreaming of –" Noel started

Music lingered in the background

"I feel this is a perfect occasion for a song about affordable Mexican cuisine. Cue the mariachi band!" Karnak exclaimed

"I don't want to sing a song about that!" Noel muttered


"Oh! Oh! If he doesn't want to sing, I will! I will!" Ocean screamed


"Goddammit! Can you keep it in your pants for two seconds, you horrible Lesbian." He screamed back at ocean


"Fine! In my life I was Noel Gruber who worked at Taco Bell in Uranium City,
Saskatchewan, but... in my dreams... I played a different role. I was Monique Gibeau in Post-War France..." Noel said as he took his clothes on to reveal a small black dress.

And a pair of stockings.

And my heels.

I rolled my eyes.

He put a wig on then started singing 

'A HOOKER WITH A HEART... OF BLACK CHARCOAL! I WRITE POEMS TO BURN BY FIRELIGHT
DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND GUZZLE GIN GOOD GIRLS CALL ME THE TOWN BICYCLE DON'T KNOCK IT 'TIL YOU'VE TRIED MY LIFE OF SINOH, CLAUDE, MY PIMP KNOWS NEVER MESS WITH ME
LAST PRICK DID THAT FADED QUICK, TO BLACK "I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO FIND HIM OFFICERS..." BUT IF YOU DO PLEASE MENTION THAT I'D LIKE TO HAVE RETURNED THE PRETTY KNIFE THAT I STUCK TEN! TIMES! IN! HIS! BACK!FOR I SING SONGS UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN
I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT MY LIFE'S ONE NEVER-ENDING CARNIVAL A WHIRL OF BOOZY, FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT!
I WANT TO BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL

HE SAID, "I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU"

I'VE HEARD THAT LIE A MILLION TIMES BEFORE OH, BUT TONIGHT I GIVE INTO THE FANTASYTAKE LOVE WHEN YOU CAN, WHEN YOU'RE A WHORE FOR I SING SONGS UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN
I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT MY LIFE'S ONE NEVER-ENDING CARNIVAL KIDS A WHIRL OF BOOZY, FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT NOEL I WANT TO BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL... SO NOW I SELL MY LOVE FOR...
OPIUM IN SOME RAT INFESTED SLATTERN DIVEAT NIGHT I BURN MYSELF WITH CIGARETTES JUST TO SOMEHOW PROVE I'M STILL ALIVE...

EIGHT MONTHS LATER, I CATCH

TYPHOID FLU

KICKED OUT I SEE THE UGLY LIGHT                                                                                                                          OF DAY

DYING IN AN ALLEY

A PRIEST KNEELS DOWN TO ME...

My child, do you have any final words to the Lord you'd like to say?
Oui! Tell him that, like him, I choose to burn out rather than fade away...
FOR. I. SING. SONGS
UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT MY LIFE'S ONE NEVER ENDING CARNIVALA WHIRL OF BOOZY FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT FOR I SING. SONGS UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT MY LIFE'S ONE NEVER ENDING CARNIVAL A WHIRL OF BOOZY FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT I WANT TO...
BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL! TO BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRRRRRRL!
IF I COULD HAVE JUST ONE DREAM...
I'D BE THAT
FUCKED UP GIRL!' Noel belted the entire song


I gasped, he just kissed his crush.

Oh my god.

"HEY! That! Was! Dope! yo!" Mischa said hugging noel


"Ricky! You play squeeze keys mad wicked awesome." Mischa continued 

"Heightened abilities. I can play the accordion now." Ricky said smiling

"Level up!" 


"I champion Noel's journey of sexual discovery... but he dropped the f-bomb, in the actual chorus!?" Ocean asked


I ignored her while Mishca argued with her

"Noel! You did amazing!" I said hugging him

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(1127 words) 

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