The Rampage MC #3: Atlas and Joy

Chapter 18 (Atlas): You Can't Be Afraid

"Yo, brother," Corner called to me during dinner when I was bringing out another serving bowl of homemade mashed potatoes. It was official. I was a serving bitch, but since it was to help Joy, I didn't give a fuck. I knew ever since I'd given Corner a beat down for publicly offering Joy his dick on the day she'd completed her six months that he'd been looking for payback.

"We're getting ready to vote on changing your road name from Atlas to Shot Down."

"Funny guy," I said as the brothers laughed. "Must be why all the club girls come out of your room laughing hysterically."

As the brothers laughed at him, his face tightened, and I knew he wasn't done.

"We all think it's fucking hilarious that you got Joy a bike and she won't even ask you for riding lessons. First she denied you claiming her and now she's not even asking you for help with her riding lessons. You must have really fucked up with her to be shot down at every turn."

"So, has she asked you for lessons?" I asked mildly.

He glared at me. 

"I'm guessing no, since she turned down your offer to let her bounce on your dick. So I'll be Shot Down and you'll be Shut Down. We'll be like motherfucking twinsies. Then again, talk about changing my name one more time and you'll be Stay Down. Permanently, brother."

He saw the look in my eyes and shut his mouth. For now. I had no doubt he'd be coming at me again, but given how frustrated I was, I'd welcome the chance to take him down. Hard workouts and sparring with the brothers wasn't enough to alleviate my self-loathing for the many and various ways I'd hurt Joy and for the lack of any forward progress. I needed to damage someone, and Corner was looking good for the top candidate if he didn't lay off.

Over the last three weeks since I'd bought Joy her bike, the brothers had been relentless in razzing me about my situation with her every chance they got. They all saw that she wasn't really talking with me and thought it was hilarious since it was the first time I'd ever gone after a woman and was being blocked by said woman at every turn. 

Shot Down was true. No one had actually called me that to my face -- Corner had just braved that today -- but I knew the brothers were watching like it was the best entertainment they'd ever seen and were laughing like the assholes they were. About the only ones who weren't laughing were Beard and Max and that was because they weren't having much luck with their own women, either. We were a sorry, pathetic trio.

The only time Joy really let me near her was late at night when she was struggling through her math assignments. I was still helping in the kitchen, but we'd gotten into a rhythm and talking was kept to a minimum now since I could pretty much anticipate what she needed me to do. But college algebra was tough for her, and I respected the hell out of the fact that she'd voluntarily taken this class to challenge herself and was fighting her way through it, problem by painful problem.

Every night when she sat down at the dining room table with her math textbook, her face a mixture of dread and resignation, I'd ask her if she wanted my help. And she'd always wait a beat and then nod, her reluctance obvious but not enough to overcome her desire to do well in the course. So I'd pull out the chair next to her and spin it around, hoping that wooden back against my chest would keep me from doing what I really wanted, which was pulling Joy to me so I could let her know that I regretted everything I'd done wrong with her, every bad choice I'd made concerning her. Then I'd work with her for an hour or two until she was confident in her newest lesson. When she had a test, I'd drill her on everything it covered until she nodded, indicating that she felt confident.

To prepare for her comprehensive final, we worked for hours together every night for a week. Since it was proctored, she went up to her room to take it online and I paced, hoping it was going well, hoping she remembered the steps for solving various equations, hoping she wouldn't panic and forget anything critical.