E.D. : I don't fit in me

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Author's Notes: If you are suffering from an eating disorder or body dysmorphia, please seek for help immediately.
I understand your pain and going on crazy diets is not going to change your perception by itself.You are beautiful and is not a weight that will define your beauty.
Please don't forget to eat.
Do you eat today? I hope yes.

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One day, I looked in the mirror and I saw a hideous silhouette
I was terrified of what I saw, and I desperately needed to change
A diet for a few weeks should be enough...
A few minutes of exercise should help... You know what, I don't even like dinner anyway...
If I drink more water I won't feel hungry...
Weeks become months...
Minutes become hours...
Cut out breakfast and lunch too...
Water becomes all I consume...
I feel bad, my shaky legs try to support me, my hair falls out, deep dark circles mark my face and my heart slows down...
And all this will be worth it when I get what I want.
But...I tried so hard, why is nothing enough?
My silhouette and dislike for my body do not change.
Is it really the physical problem? Measurements change but I don't... What's wrong with me?
If not even what I could change I can't...

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