Loki's Mark

Chapter Four

When I awoke in the morning, I was alone. The bed behind me was still warm, but I could feel that he was nowhere in the apartment. I experienced a brief moment of loss, then sighed and got out of bed to stretch. He was a god, he had god things to do. I didn't know why part of me had expected him to still be curled up around me like a comfortable lover. I'll admit that I did sleep much better however, so I couldn't even be mad that he had bounced. I felt myself actually smiling as I went through my morning routine, and I was even humming to myself softly as I exited the bathroom - right into his bare chest. Was he allergic to wearing a shirt?

"Good Morning, wildflower. I see that you're feeling better this morning?" He asked, smiling softly at me. I gave him my own crooked smile, in return.

"I actually got some decent sleep, if that counts for anything." I watched him nod, and felt my smile growing wider.

"Good, it makes me glad to hear it. I forgot something, by the way." He said, and I looked up at him in puzzlement, before he tilted my chin up and caught my lips in another blood-searing kiss. He even pulled my bottom lip into his mouth a little bit, giving it a quick nibble before releasing my chin and stepping back. "Don't worry, that was just because I felt like it, wildflower. That does remind me though, thinking back to last night's conversation. How do you feel, about kisses?"

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, blinking at him. "I kind of think it's a little bit late to be asking that question, don't you?" I asked, with just a hint of a chuckle.

"Well yes, but, I meant in the context of our arrangement. And in general, now that I think about it." he shrugged, and crossed his arms to watch me. I narrowed my eyes, and looked at him.

"Somehow, I don't get the feeling that you're asking for a tactical assessment of your capabilities." I remarked sassily, and the devious smile he gave me caused my pulse to triple. I gave him a steady smile, though, as I thought about it. "I mean, given the right circumstances, I have no issue with them. I might even welcome them. The way you phrased that though, makes me wonder now. Is there some requirement to this bond? Are you forced to... I don't know how I want to word this." I trailed off, shaking my head.

"Am I forced to grant boons?" he asked, and I nodded.

"Like, is it just a desire? Something you get pleasure from? Or is it an actual stipulation that has repercussions? Wait, you probably can't even answer that, can you?" I sighed, and shook my head.

"I am driven, yes. As for the rest of it, I prefer not to say." He spread his hands in a shrug, and I nodded again.

"I suppose I can respect that. Boundaries are a great thing, who am I to be learning my own, if I can't respect others, right?" I tilted my head in thought. "I still don't know if I'm going to be any good at this. I really suck at asking others for anything, especially things I can do myself. As for larger things that I can't do myself, it's hard for me to not feel like I'd be cheating. Or to be constantly looking for all the strings attached, waiting for the other shoe to drop." I frowned.

"Honestly I really don't know what I would ask for. I don't want to be famous, I don't hex people or wish ill on them, even though I have a list of people that could use a little fucking karma, oh my god. I don't want to be rich or jet set or have a mansion and a ton of designer things or be powerful. I just want a roof over my head and food in the fridge that's safe to eat and my bills to be paid and to be strong enough to live my own life, without people tearing me down. That's all things I have to work on myself. I want to learn, I want to grow, I want to see what I am and am not capable of doing. I want to take those latter things and set them as goals, to see if I can beat them or not. I want to take the time to figure out who I am as a person, and what I'm meant to do with my life, and not just be a puppet in someone else's cycle of abuse." I shrugged at the last, and looked down.