About F

I miss you like the tide,
sometimes not at all,
then, all at once, it swells in my chest,
and I am drowning.

In my darkest hours,
I wish for you to be there,
shelter my weary soul and
whisper the colours of my name.

Your breath on my tongue like a childhood memory,
the candy I inexplicably stopped eating one day,
and I never noticed its absence until
you came, sweeter than any and every candy.

We were effortless,
inescapable. Kind of magically so.
Why did they not tell me
there is an expiration date to magic.

My deepest core held your desire and yet
we are friends.
How am I supposed to look in your eyes
and not remember those nights.

How am I to hear your voice and
not hear your hunger.
I hear you, as your hands clench the sheets and
we lay bare.

I let you in, allowed you to walk unknown paths,
held onto your hand – lead me to the light, my dear.

In the end,
it was not me,
it was not you,
and therefore, it was not us.

How am I supposed to not miss you,
when you felt like coming home after
the longest journey
of finding myself.

In the hazy space between day and night,
I miss you - meet me there.
See my kingdom fall,
as you fade amongst the stars.

How am I supposed to forget you,
when, at the end of the day,
all I need is the weight of your hand on my hip
as I fall asleep.