pastel pens and cigarettes

2

Spending your entire holiday studying and being overly confident for a test just to hear that you failed, is absolutely no way to make your parents bubble with pride.

However, Taehyung wouldn't stop until his parents were proud. No matter what it takes. The seventeen year old would spend his every afternoon and weekends, studying for hours on end. Just to achieve no more than a fifty five percent on his tests and assignments.

Even though he was frustrated with himself most if not all of the time, he would never stop trying to be a people pleaser.

Not exactly. 

"Hey Tae!" A little tuft of blonde hair popped into his line of view. Blinding him with his way too bright smile.

"Can we hang out after school? It's been so long. All you do is study nowadays." It was true. Probably the last time they hung out was when they were placed in the same group for a project. That was in middle school. But Jimin was a patient boy.

"I'm really sorry Jimin. But I can't today. We're due for a biology test tomorrow. Maybe some other time?" Without even waiting for a response he quickly walked away clutching his books tightly to his chest.

"But!- you ALWAYS say that! You FUCKER!" Though he tried to ignore his friend, his words really left a pang on his heart. He knew it was all true.

As he ran home, he found himself thinking. What if he was like your average teenager. What if he tried to stop being a people pleaser and hung out more? Went to parties, smoked weed, had one night stands.

Would his life be less boring?

The boy quickly discarded those thoughts as he pushed the front door open. Trying so badly to not run into his parents as he knew all they ever talked about were his grades that caused them to rumble with anger. Or compare him to his cousins who were apparently so ontop of their class they got a 4.1 GPA. He knew those were just lies to make him feel bad about himself. But it didn't take away the fact that it hurts like a bitch.

Taehyung flung himself at his bed when he successfully dodged his parents. He felt so drained. So tired. He was just so exhausted.  But what had he done to deserve rest? That's right.

He's a failure. 

And as if the universe wanted to remind him of how much of a failure he is his mom stormed into his room right at that moment with a letter from his home room teacher in her hand.

"Why can't you ever do anything right? Is it that hard to just try? Atleast just try Taehyung. All you ever do is bring shame to our name. Aren't you tired of wasting your life away? You're such a disappointment. "

Okay now that hit the spot. The boy felt so pathetic within himself knowing that all he could do was take all her harsh words, and promise to do better next time.

"You always say that." With that, the door loudly slammed behind her and Taehyung was left to drown in his thoughts.

This was bad. Taehyung never trusts himself to think too much. It always leads to something he'd regret. However, today he just couldn't seem to catch himself from falling deep into the pit of his own mind.

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