U.S.A continued to play, it felt like you were in the bathroom of a mall or party because of how muffled it was.
"Soo...what are you going to do?"
"I'm sorry, but who the fuck are you?"
You as quietly as possible asked the ear drum shattering voice.
"NOW WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT- Ahem! I mean I'm one of Santa's elves. Uh I don't really have a generic human name..I'm mainly just called #497.."
"#497" went from loudly yelling, shockingly not alerting Santa, to lowly speaking in an awkward sort of tone towards you.
You didn't even have to see the damn elf thing to know that they were feeling a bit awkward.
"Alrighty then #497, how the hell do I get out of here. I just want a Coke slurpee from 711 not to go on an escape the kidnapper speed run obby."
"Uh, I kinda have no idea. We're like...four thousand eight hundred seventy nine feet in the air lmao."
Okay. It's probably best to be calm, right?
"There's a shadow on the wall, stay calm, stay calm. There's a figure in the hall, stay calm, stay calm-"
"Please shut the fuck up before I throw your ass off this sled, singing like this doesn't make you quirky and special it just makes you annoying as hell. Please stop."
Goddamn, you were just a little rascal, huh?
"I DON'T SHUT UP I GROW UP AND WHEN I LOOK AT YOU I THROW UP"
#497 looked disturbed and disgusted. Suddenly, a loud ass sneeze came from the holly jolly old man who sat driving the sleigh. His sneeze shook the whole goddamn sleigh to the point you and #497 almost fell out of the sleigh.
"MOTHER FUCKER-"
Suddenly, the loud booming voice of Saint Nicolas himself spoke,
"Hmmm? Did I just hear something? Ohohoho...maybe Mrs. Clause was right, I should go back on my meds. Too bad she's dead, I said six feet or six feet deep and her ass didn't listen TEEHE HO HO HO HO HOOOO!"
Oh. So a psychopaty is driving this sleigh. Huh. Your life really couldn't get more fucked up, right...?
YOU ARE READING
Santa x reader
Fanfiction(Y/N) felt trapped and conflicted for their whole existence, it was painful, and to think that this was all caused by one holly jolly man who has brought smiles on children's faces for generations, Ol' Saint Nicholas himself. Known to most of the po...
