Konosuba - God's Blessing on this Rune Knight

Chapter 1: Becoming the Rune Knight

"Satou Kazuma-san, welcome to the afterlife. Unfortunately, you've died. It might've been short, but your life's now over." A woman spoke to a boy in a pitch-black room. The boy was about 5'4 with spikey brown hair and dark brown eyes. His name was Satou Kazuma. 

"I am the goddess Aqua, and I will be guiding your path after death," Aqua said. 

"Wait... how did I die?" Kazuma asked.

"Y-You... you died so pathetically it was hilarious!"

"But what about the girl I knocked away? Is she okay?" 

"She has a fractured leg... but she would've been fine if you hadn't! Haha!" Aqua explained, laughing. Kazuma took in her appearance. She was better-looking than any idol he'd ever seen, having long and silky blue hair with a pair of bright azure eyes. Kazuma's eye twitched in irritation. She had the air of a pompous goddess, feeling as if she was better than everyone.

"They rushed you to a hospital, but the doctors couldn't save you because they were laughing too hard! Then your parents heard and they burst into laughter without even grieving you!" Aqua exclaimed, howling in laughter. 

"Wait wait wait, why were they laughing?" Kazuma asked. "Wasn't I hit by a truck saving a girl?" 

"No! The "truck" was a slow-moving tractor! They were laughing because you died of shock and peed yourself!" Aqua responded through gasps of laughter.

"You're quite the unflattering goddess," Kazuma rebutted immediately, making Aqua swiftly turn to him in disbelief. Kazuma winced, realizing he just angered a goddess.

"Take it back!" She exclaimed childishly. Kazuma deadpanned but decided to keep his mouth shut about how she could probably obliterate him.

"No. Now tell me what "guiding" you're doing," Kazuma said.

"Why you..." Aqua growled, trailing off. She took a deep breath and sat back down. "I am offering you two options. One is to go to another world with all of your memories to defeat the devil king. The other is to just go to heaven."

Kazuma thought for a second. "Can you like, explain both options a little bit more?" 

"Well, heaven is something your shut-in ass won't have any fun with. It's so mellow with no entertainment of your kind. So no computer or TV or phone or anything," Aqua explained. "In the other world, you'll be immediately able to read and speak the language due to the godly power, but none of that entertainment either. You'll also be given an item from a set of items to be chosen from. In that world, there's magic and monsters and a devil army and a bunch more stuff!"

Something about the look Aqua gave when she talked "excitedly" about the alternate world option made Kazuma skeptical. 

"Alright then... I choose the first option," Kazuma said.

"Ok," Aqua said, snapping her hands. A bunch of cards fell to the floor and Kazuma stared at them. "Go look at them."

Kazuma gritted his teeth and knelt on the floor to look at the cards, knowing Aqua was relishing his bowed form. He picked up the sixteen cards on the floor and read each one.

Magic Sword Sylph
Description: Blade forged from the Sylph Spirits. Offers three spells, plus a six-fold attack strength and eight-fold boost in intelligence and magic skill. Is bound to the wielder. 
Spells:
Wind Blade: Costs 50 mana to use. Launches arch of pure wind power, instantly annihilating any enemy in one attack. 
Wind Storm: Costs 100 mana to use. Fires off a tornado at enemy, instantly clearing a large amount of area and shredding all enemies in radius to bits.
Drift: Allows user to fall to the floor slowly and safely, even letting them hover. Requires 20 mana per minute.