Cabin Fever (BXB)

the day the world started turning cold

Days started growing longer and longer, and that email stayed unread in Simon's inbox. News of the stock market crashing took center stage. Panic was the air we breathed, but the world still turned. Masks became the new hot debate topic. Everything began feeling like a gigantic freaking question mark. "State of Emergencies" were rolled out across the country as casually as announcing the weather.

"I think I'm going to go back," Simon said one day. He sat at the kitchen table, watching me put away whatever measly groceries I could find. His head hung low, his eyes fixed on me.

I stopped and turned to him. "Oh?"

"Yeah."

"What made you change your mind?"

"You."

Something in my chest tightened. I asked about whether he had thought about the email from time to time, but from his responses, I assumed he was ready to not think about it again. There was always a twinge of pain when I mentioned it, so I didn't bring it up a lot.

I sat down across from him. "You okay?"

He stared at me before shaking his head. "I – it's all really fucking complicated, everything with him and me, but if he died, I...if my dad really is sick, then I shouldn't miss the chance to see him, right? Say things to him I've always wanted to say, right?"

I touched his hand.

"I really, really don't want to, though."

"Then why are you?"

His blue eyes fell on me, silence stretching for eons before he smirked. "Because you're...right." Simon sighed and glanced away, frowning. He tried covering his face. "And I really, really hate that you're right."

My skin prickled at that. I still smiled. "Okay." My heart started sinking into my stomach. A sliver of me hoped he'd ask me to come, but I didn't want to pry. Maybe he wanted to do this on his own. Which was fine. With him gone, though, for who knows how long, it'd feel so freaking weird, like a part of me was missing completely. I stood. "When are you planning to go?"

He held my thumb. It was gentle, but grounded me, stopped me from putting away the rest of the groceries.

I didn't want him to go. I wanted him to ask me to go with him.

"I have...one more thing. To say."

Please don't leave me alone.

I sat back down.

"I-I know it's kind of weird of me, to ask you, but I don't want – I don't – " He grunted, running his free hand over his head. "And you have every right to say 'no', because all of it's, just, weird and muddled and fucking annoying – "

"Simon."

"Come with me?" he asked, leaning forward. His blue eyes were down, freckled face flushed. He squeezed my hand. "Please?"

"Okay." My stomach fluttered. "Do you even have to ask?"

"Yes. Because you can say 'no'."

I shook my head. "Where you go, I go."

"No, Micah, I – "

I squeezed his hand harder, running my thumb over his knuckles. "I want to be there, Simon. Regardless of how it turns out, I will be there for you."

Simon breathlessly sighed. "It might be bad."

"It might not be. And if it is, I'll be there."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am. Besides, I'm not really missing anything from work, either."

He huffed at that. Simon stood, drawing me into a kiss before pulling back. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"I don't know."

I cupped his face. "Don't be. Tell me where you need me, and I'll be there."

Simon sighed again, deflating slightly, sinking into my palms. "I'll...need to...email back. Talk to the landlord so we don't lose the place."

"Need me to do anything?"

"...mentally prepare?"

I laughed at that. "Simon, seriously."

"No. Just...be there for me. And let David and Cheryl know you're coming with me."

I nodded, leaning forward. "Okay."